Snapshot Story

Snapshot Story
Arrival in Hawaii, 2009

In this daily post prompt, we are asked to grab a photo album and write a story about the first picture we see of ourselves. In my photo album on my computer, this is the first photo I saw.

Taken on the balcony of the Hale Koa hotel in Honolulu, we were so excited to be stationed in Hawaii! We couldn’t wait to explore paradise. With our then-5 month old baby boy, I had no idea what three years on an island in the pacific would mean for my family, my marriage, or for me.

I remember thinking at the time, “Hmm, I’ve lost a bit of weight, I’m on the right diet.” Now when I look at this picture, I see a bad hair ‘do (Christmas Tree cut, anyone?!), a tired mom, anticipation of opportunities, and more.

What I want to do is take this girl by the shoulders and shake her. I want her to discover how good it feels to eat healthfully and MOVE! I want her to not shy away from the camera. I want to tell her to stop wearing black in 80 degree heat!

I want her to start writing and never stop.

I want to tell her it’s okay to say goodbye.

I want to tell her to be open to new things, to be open to new people.

To try new things, even if failure is a possibility. Don’t always take the safe road.

That when she feels scared, it’s okay to sit in the fear, feel it for what it is, but then never to let it immobilize her.

There are many things I want to tell her. But she’ll soon discover it all for herself.

“All great achievements require time.” -Maya Angelou

Advertisement

Arriving

July makes me reflective.

July 2011, I joined a “little workout class”, that forever changed the trajectory of my (and my family’s) life. The left side of this image is what I looked like at that time: (Note the TWO pieces of cake! Gross!)

Beforeafter2

I was in a size 16 (barely), should have been a size 18, and was essentially numb to life and going through the motions. The minute that picture was snapped, my smile subsided. Enter bootcamp and learning to live a healthier lifestyle, the rest is history.

By February of 2012, I am at my fittest: (size 6-8)

DSCF0196

And this was taken just a couple of weeks ago: (size 8-10)

1040737_10151711472205280_138136737_o

 

Transitions, with regard to weight loss, are definitely messy with lots of highs and lows. There is no “Okay! I’ve hit my goal weight/size! Now I’m done with that!” and going back to being sedentary. Fitness is for life – as corny and cliche as that sounds. There is no finish line – it’s just the start of the next race. (Thank you Trainer Laurie Weber for that one!)

I’m going on two years of this “transition” or fitness path, and I don’t ever want to go back to the way I used to be. While there are and will be setbacks, there will also continue to be striving ahead, strength gains, and new goals. An on-going continuous way of living that will include moving my body (a lot!), moving heavy things, and eating! Eating good, tasty, and whole foods most of the time.

What I have discovered though, is that for this to be a sustainable, long-term way of living, things have to be in balance as much as possible. I have to enjoy what I’m doing. I refuse to minutely obsess about macronutrient ratios, cry when I don’t like what the scale says, or restrict food to bland chicken and broccoli every single night. (I haven’t weighed myself in over 2 months! Gasp!) I food log every few weeks when I need to gauge where I’m at if I need to, but I try to listen to my body and eat intuitively. (For more on listening to your body, check out Linda Bacon’s book “Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight”.) While some may see this book as a “Just give up and eat whatever you want”, I do not.  I don’t believe dieting and restriction is a long term solution.

Bottom Line: Health is not an arrival point. There is no point B in fitness. You never arrive. It’s an on-going, continuous journey. And as much as I like the completeness of being at the destination, this is an area where I have to accept that it just doesn’t exist.

And that’s okay.

How About It?

How about we all just stop for a minute.

I am a “Fan” and “Like” various fitness groups on Facebook and read a few fitness and running blogs on a regular basis. Heck, I even write for a fitness blog. But I’m more and more discouraged about the negative tone of what I’ve been reading lately. Pinterest abounds with pins of models posing all greased up next to barbells with the caption: “Strong is the New Skinny”. What I want to know is – have we traded one ideal for another? How about we celebrate what OUR bodies can do? Instead of comparing ourselves to the models on magazine covers, how about we stop striving to look like anyone but the best version of ourselves? Wouldn’t it be better to ditch the scale (which isn’t a complete picture anyway) and focus on the amazing things of which our strong bodies are capable? Could we stop looking for instant fixes in the forms of pills and boxes? Why don’t we shift the focus from simple vanity and looking this way or that way, to teaching our kids health? Let’s teach our kids health in the complete sense of the word: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual; not just obsessing over numbers and exercising compulsively.

I saw this today:

581688_613387198672630_753471976_n

Words have power. They carry weight. (Yes, pun intended.) I don’t know about you, I think there is enough negative crap thrown at us in terms of body image, what we SHOULD look like, what we SHOULD do, and how we SHOULD do it – I don’t need this kind of “motivation”. I find this disrespectful and negative. How about we ditch the name calling and the bullying – of ourselves. Yes, it’s supposed to be humorous, and light-hearted, but at the end of the day – I am always more inspired and motivated by truth, honesty and positivity.

How about we try some of these words instead:

Accomplishment

Goals

Achievement

Pride

Exhilaration

Joy

Breathlessness

Passion

Integrity

Compassion

Truth

How about it?

Bear with me….

I am in the midst of making a transition – from Blogger to WordPress. Based on reviews and blogs I read – WordPress seems like a better option for me and my little ‘ol blog. Plus, Google/Blogger has a limit on images and I had reached that limit. If I wanted to continue – I would have had to pay. No bueno. But – as will any transition, it comes with a learning curve…

 

Thank you for bearing with me as I make the move!

Old vs. New

It has been a crazy couple of weeks getting settled and unpacked!! Went for an icy bike ride with the kiddos today and am gearing up for working out in the morning bootcamp style with my mom and sister!

Over the past week or so I’ve noticed some astonishing differences being back in my hometown area as the new me vs. the old.

Eric has done deployments before, and while they stink – doing them with kiddos is just a whole other level of suckiness. However, before I would have been terrified of the responsibility of two kids on my own. Now, though – yes it sucks and I would much rather have him home, the fear is no longer there. I know some days are going to be better than others, but the terror has been replaced by an acceptance and a sense of “Yeah. I got this. I’m not going to sit around and be sad. We are going to make the best of it and have a life and not just sit around waiting for Daddy to come home.” This is huge.

I meet peoples’ gaze and am the first to wave or smile and say hello. This is such a seemingly small thing – but huge for me. Old me would wait for others to approach me or make the first move. Not so much anymore. And everyone in our new neighborhood has been so friendly. For some reason I don’t remember the valley being so friendly… But perhaps I’m just seeing it with new vision 😉

Went shopping yesterday for winter clothes for my new body and had a blast with a good friend. Old me never let thin friend into dressing room. New me: fashion show parade in the room!!!
Lots of laughs, catching up and cute new clothes that I’ve worked so hard for. And I didn’t even charge her for the tickets to the gun show! 😉

Going to church and watching my mom watch me and seeing her see the differences in dropping off the kiddos at Children’s Church. She even remarked at how dropping the kids off was “something you would have never done before”. The kids have a great time, get to interact and play and learn with other kids and I get a much needed mental break and spiritual recharge for the week. Win win!!

I have scheduled a test date for taking my certified personal trainer exam. NEVER would I have thought I was good enough, athletic enough, or whatever excuse to do something like this. And I find all I feel is excited!!! Yeah, a little nervous because I want to do well and not have to retake the thing – but mostly just excited! I can’t wait to help someone else to feel as good as I do. I can’t think of anything better.

Instead of waiting until __________ , I am getting out and making things happen. I’m more proactive. This is partially due to wishing I had found bootcamp and done it sooner. I don’t want to miss any opportunities in our new location. Hit the ground running baby!!!

It’s just a bunch of little things like this that in the past week or so have been very apparent to me.

I can appreciate old me. She got me to here. But new me is way more fun, has so much more energy and is comfortable in her own skin. And I love that!

Random Thoughts…

I’m feeling so blessed to have the opportunity to live in so many wonderful places and so grateful for the AMAZING people I have met along the way. I remember thinking not too long ago that I felt like this last year has been especially great and I was wishing I hadn’t “wasted” so much time the first two years or that I had found bootcamp earlier.
Then I came across this:
So true. I don’t think I was ready when we first got here.
Now is right on time.
I like that.
And while part of me wishes that I did have a few more months of these great people and fantastic experiences….it would simply prolong the inevitable “goodbyes” that I just wish we didn’t have to say.
Now is right on time.
I have the tools in my tool belt. There is only excitement at what lies ahead.
%d bloggers like this: