Tag: goals

Obsession

Since last August when she arrived, I have rarely spent a day without getting in her saddle. I pedaled and huffed and puffed. I got a professional fitting, I joined the cult, ahem, the Power Zone Pack. New shoes came, as well as a more powerful fan. I have cycled my legs off for about 6.5 months.

It’s been, to say the least, an obsession.

She is my Peloton bike. The bike gives me something with which to focus my training. It’s been a sanity saver in a year of crazy-making monotony. It’s anchored my days and my mind. I have become all of the Peloton memes and I don’t even care because I feel so good. This from SNL is my current favorite:

HILARIOUS!

With this type of training, power zone training specifically, the rider works within their own zones, and steadily improves over time measuring specific metrics, primarily power output. Yes, I am a stat nerd and love poring over the numbers and seeing how my average cadences have improved over time, hitting personal records, and even racing friends up the leaderboard.

This morning I took what is my 5th FTP test. This is an all-out effort for 20 minutes that calculates your FTP, or Functional Threshold Power. Everything you got, holding it steady (or not so), and leaving nothing in the tank by the end. Puking is optional. (I have never puked after the test, but I’ve been razor-thin close.) It’s a beast and if you let it, will mess with your mind. At the end of each 6-8 week challenge, there is the opportunity to take the FTP test – and update your power zones, thus making classes a smidge more challenging. Ever increasing time under tension, you get stronger, update work capacity, adapt, rinse, and repeat. It’s torture…. and addicting.

After reading many posts about strategies to attack this FTP monster, analyzing my stats and then setting goals – I climbed on and rode the plan. Complete with corny inspiration and strategy on the school whiteboard that is directly in my sightline as I ride:

Until about minute 14 when I abandon all plans and decide to just not die.

This creative cutie printed out photos of pom-poms to “cheer” for me!

Good thing my cheerleader came out during the warm up and not during the actual ride when I thought I might die!

Steady increases over time. Consistency trophies as the coaches call them. The 2nd test I was able to scratch out a 19% increase. Then 13% from test 4. The last 2 tests are holding steady at 6.5% increases each.

Annnnd in the end….I didn’t die. I did crawl away from my obsession with new zones. Not too much harder, but just spicy enough to be challenging. I will take it! My goal was to get my FTP over 200. Definitely not ready for that yet.

Yet.

It will come. Goals always do.

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Scary

I have this thing: apparently I like to scare myself. I jump into things and then figure out the how. I ran track for 3 weeks in the 8th grade and then decided I hated running. When I signed up for my first running event, it was only because my friend said it was doable and dragged me along. I knew I could walk if we needed to, and we were actually doing this “let’s get fit” thing. Running races wasn’t something I thought I could do, let alone enjoy.

At 33 and post-baby #2 (over the course of 7 months while living in Hawaii) I did things I never thought possible. I ran a mile without stopping. Seems small, but it was big for me because I never thought I could.

Until I did.

It became longer. 5ks, 10ks, and even half-marathons. (That’s 13.1 miles. On feet.) It seemed insane, but when surrounded by others setting and smashing goals, the impossible seemed possible. Like, why couldn’t I do those things, too? At a get together during this time, over wine (back when I still drank), I made the slightly tipsy decision to run a marathon. I had lost weight, was working out (HARD) 5-6 days per week, and oh, why the heck not?! Never mind the fact that only a week before the marathon date, I’d already signed up for the Kualoa ranch Xterra half trail marathon. (Trail running DOES NOT equal a regular road race. At. All. Trail running is WAY, WAY harder.) But someone at the party said ‘It’s really very doable,’ as she explained a run-walk strategy. Impossible….becomes a maybe…becomes possible.

Our time in Hawaii taught me many things, including how to set goals for myself, how to dream big – even if it scares me – and that I can be a determined person when my mind is set. With 2020 being the circus it was, and the world in the chaos that it is, family, sobriety, and the bike in my living room that goes no where have been my outlet and sanity.

I haven’t run races in a few years due to injuries that get aggravated when I run over a 5k. After becoming a certified Spin instructor, my endorphin thirst was quenched on a bike instead of in running shoes. It’s been years since I participated in any events, but I still set goals and earn badges on the bike and through my fitness watch. (Side note: it’s the most trivial things like badges I find highly motivating.) The beauty of training this way is that metrics are measured which gives tangible evidence of improvement. I love improving.

Across the social pages along came the PeloFondo event. Riders set a mileage goal of their choosing, and then have 2 days to complete the miles. Thinking it would be fun and something to challenge myself before the next actual challenge begins in a week, I set my goal of 30 miles. Seemed achievable.

But…it didn’t really scare me. I’ve done 90 minute rides both indoor cycling and outdoor. So then I figured I could leave my goal at 30, but then actually ride 50 (because Garmin badges). That way I could play it safe, have a goal, but not push myself much harder.

A friend from the Hawaii days messaged years ago to say she was doing her first century ride. I remember this conversation vividly. (This was after we had all moved on to our next duty stations, but we still cheer each other on, even from across the globe.) This conversation planted a seed.

I swallowed and upped the mileage to 100.

One of the class instructors, Christine D’Ercole, often says in her classes to get curious. Instead of the mental chatter that tells us we can’t do something, that talks us out of all the things, she has this amazing motto: I am. I can. I will. I do. We change the chatter and get curious. What if I can do this thing? What if I can set a crazy-ass goal and actually achieve it? What if it takes forever? What if?

What. If.

I knew it would take me forever. I got ready and ordered the padded bike shorts and anti-chafing cream. (Somehow I missed the padded bike seat cover but my amazing husband popped out quick to the store and picked up not one, but two. He graciously fit one on while I was mid class!)

It took me 12 classes.

There were lots of stretching breaks between the classes. 2 peanut butter and jelly on whole wheat sammies, 3 apple pie Lara bars, 2 bananas, Nuun hydration tablets, and a LOT of water got me through. Not to mention the randomness of the post-ride feast!

Not necessarily pretty, but when you’re hangry, anything edible tastes like heaven!

101.19 miles took me 6:30. Six and a half hours. (The marathon time was in this same ridiculous ballpark.) I will never win races or compete competitively, but I race me. (And…. occasionally my friend Bo. He typically creams me.)

3000 calories torched according to the watch. Four Garmin badges were earned:

(Seriously, it’s ridiculous that these little things excite me to the degree that they do.) The very last ride of the 12 completed today happened to be the 200th!

Badges, badges everywhere!

I am…..capable. I can….do hard things. I will….continue to set goals that scare me. I do…finish what I start. Thank you Christine for the words I didn’t know I needed.

It’s been a minute since I set a scary goal, let alone participated in a formal event. I missed it. I missed getting scared and pushing beyond that fear. Because really….why not? And what if?

Resolutions or Goals?

It’s that time of year where we take stock and reevaluate and set goals! Or when we think about our intentions for the next year. Or maybe you are in the camp of not doing anything of the sort. Either way, the end of the year is here!

I went back and reviewed the blog post from last year. Oh how funny and optimistic I was – not having a clue what “fun” 2020 would be. I had some goals – 350 miles on legs (running and walking), getting back to my fighting weight (working on that still), and to read 40 books.

As of right now, I’m on book number 99 so one more and I smashed that goal! I love reading and Goodreads makes it easy to review and set goals and get others’ reviews on current reads.

Goals for mileage were blown up and achieved in the latter part of the year when the Peloton arrived, although the walk/run goal was done throughout the year. Not too shabby for 2020, if I do say so myself. Looks like I will be upping that cycling mileage goal this year for sure!

What goals or resolutions do you set for yourself? How is your 2021 outlook?

Honestly, this year has GOT to be better, right?!

New Year, New Me! (and all the other things we tell ourselves)

Christmas got put away today, all the boxes loaded up and back to their spot in the garage for another year. It’s feeling fresh and clean in our space. The house is 99% uncpacked and is now home. The kids will be back to school and we’ll be in our full swing regular routine again. I love this refreshed feeling. Celebrations celebrated, visiting with family, meals prepared and savored….and now it’s quiet.

I admit it. I do love a new year. There is something about a fresh page turned in a journal, a new month, Monday, or another trip around the sun. I haven’t set resolutions for many years, but usually do a goal or two, and break it down into bite sized chunks so I don’t quit by January 5th.

I had two goals for 2019; read 30 books and walk/run 350 miles.

Hard to fathom 1000 miles on legs! Apparently I was on fire in 2016

I did not hit the goal I set for mileage on legs (walking or running) mostly because I would remember to wear my Garmin about 10 minutes after I left the house without it. (Insert eye roll here). I’m not disappointed though. I know I hit at least 300 and with all the walking with dogs we did over the last year – I’m happy with that. Not the ninja mode of years past, but did get in some biking and running in there while enjoying the California sunshine.

The reading goal I set was for 30 books. I have set reading goals in the past and barely got through half of what I’d set out to read or flat out didn’t record what I did read. I have an e-reader, love physical books and even Audible is fun once in a while.

This quote has stuck with me for a while and helps keep me motivated to read and continue to learn!

Other goals I’ve set in the past include not drinking, (but that’s more of an every day thing), weightloss goals, and arbitrary crap like “be a better person” with no plan of concretely putting it into action. I need concrete! Flippant wishes never get done. (The only area this doesn’t apply is cooking – I love not following recipes and flying by the seat of my pants in the kitchen!)

For this year, the mileage is set at 350, because it seems like a good do-able number, but enough to keep me foucused and off the couch. 40 books is the goal for reading. One more than I read last year – again, do-able but a challenge if I don’t stay on it. I’m also attending an online 12-step Recovery course. That’s sure to be scary and fun and all the other uncomfortable stuff. Lastly, I have a weightloss goal. Do-able, challenging, and necessary. The last 2 years were focused on health from the inside out; gettting a handle on depression/anxiety and getting my A1C numbers down out of the pre/diabetic ranges and lowering cholesterol. (Not to mention recuperating a dog post knee surgery.) Now it’s time to get back to a healthy weight again.

Here’s to 2020’s goals!

What are your plans and goals for the upcoming year? Any new things on the horizon?

Resolutioners

I love this season. Reflections, taking stock of accomplishments, setting new goals, appreciating the good of the past while looking ahead with anticipation of what the next year might bring.

Lately much of what I hear at the gym is, something along the lines of, “Oh yeah, just wait until January! All the New Years’ resolution makers will be in here making the place packed…”

I love a new year. Why not make a plan to achieve a goal? Even if the goal isn’t completed, isn’t it better to make steps in the direction of your dreams than to not try at all?

How about this: instead of eye rolling the new members of the gym, why not smile? Why not give them a nod of encouragement?  What does positivity cost you?

Nothing.

Maybe if we are kinder to people, they won’t find the gym such an intimidating place. Instead of complaining about a lack of parking, let’s be a community of encouragement.

Let’s make one of our resolutions to be welcoming rather than arrogant. Remember how scary this stuff was when you started?

Perhaps this really is the year.

Their year to make lasting healthful changes.

Your year.

2016. Let’s dream some big dreams and chase them with abandon!

Push Pull

I think most people are the same in that we often have opposing ideas. Our ideals can often contradict our reality, such as our beliefs not always being aligned with our actions.

If I had my way, I would live in a world without clutter. Paperwork and “stuff” that litters our countertops in piles would be eliminated. (Immediately!) I am a sentimental person, but I’m also a purger. I can feel warm and fuzzy about memories, but I don’t necessarily need a tangible memento to carry for life. Part of this comes from our life in the military. We move every 2-3 years. We get accustomed to downsizing and resizing as the size of our living space changes. My personal motto is, “If it hasn’t seen the light of day or been used in 3 years, it’s time to go.” We typically donate it to someone who can use it or have a garage sale. I’m not a huge knick-knack person. It’s just more stuff to dust and haul around. Yet, in reality – we have knick-knacks and clutter and papers that are in need of a permanent home.

Also in my perfect world, I would have a library with floor-to-ceiling shelving loaded with books of all kinds. I love to read and love that my kids are now readers. I would eliminate iPads and iPhones and even though we use both (ahem, I’m typing this on my laptop!) I would love to drastically reduce, if not remove completely, the amount of screens at which my minions stare. If my son had his way, everyday would be iPad day where he plays endless hours of Minecraft and comes up only for lunch and the occasional bathroom break.

After our rough weekend, iPad went away. We are currently finishing up our second week (of 8 total) without tablets and I have to say that I’m surprised at just how much I have loved it. My kids (shockingly) have not had the same fondness for this experiment. Nagging in general has lessened. “C’mon, turn it off, time for dinner!” or “Mom!! Just 5 more minutes, PUH-LEEEEASE?” have all been eliminated. My frustration level has gone way down. We’ve been reading more. Playing games as a family is the new routine.

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Rummikub! Our current favorite!

The kids are not racing through homework salivating for that looming iPad time after school. We’re talking more. I’m listening more. The fighting when one “kills” the other off in their linked game is done. No tears. No fighting about virtual worlds.

Peace.

But….

It’s easy to hand them the tablet when I just need a few minutes. It’s convenient to have them occupied when Eric and I need to have an uninterrupted conversation. It’s wonderful on long car rides. (Let’s be honest – here in Texas, every excursion ends up being a long car ride! This place is huge!)

There is this push and pull tension I feel between what I envision and the reality. I still don’t have answers, despite having done these types of experiments before, here, here, here, and here. I doubt the tension will lessen any time soon. It’s hard to have balance. Given the choice, I never would have purchased tablets in the first place. I do think it’s entirely too easy to lean on it as a crutch, much the way we used tv before tablets.

I love having electronic “breaks” but wonder how, after our 8 weeks are up, to reintroduce the privileges without it becoming all-consuming. Am I the only one that has a kid THIS into electronics? Our daughter enjoys it, but can easily move on to other things and doesn’t seem to crave it in the same way that our son does.

What’s it like at your house? How do you set boundaries or are you boundary-less when it comes to electronics and screen time?

What Medals and Miles Will Teach You

When I started running, I remember my friends tracking numbers. Things like pace, distance, miles over the year. I remember thinking 300 miles seemed like so many to run over the course of one year. Then I started goal setting. Apps on the smartphone like MapMyRun and RunTracker got the job done, and eventually I got a GPS watch to track my stats.

In 2011, I logged 188 miles. 2012 saw 326 miles and in 2013 I eeked out 170 miles. (Thank you deployment!) Last year I made the goal of 500 and as of right now, 2015 mileage sits at 507. These miles seem insane to me on paper and goal setting is really only one tiny fraction of what running has given me.

Not only have there been running challenges, laps on tracks, fartleks, races, tempo runs, trail races, medals earned, bib numbers pinned, traveling runs, sprained ankles, pain, victory, sprints, nausea, euphoria and more, but there has also been therapy, solace, and peace in these miles.

Running is transformative. It changes who you are and who you think you can become. It changes your mood. It takes the impossible and makes it reality. It offers comfort in the uncomfortable. It’s an escape, if only for the duration of the run. It forces you to be in the moment. Every single time you run, you return better for having done so. Running has brought self confidence. Running will bring out a mental strength you had no idea you possessed.

It will shock you. 

It will shock you just how difficult it can be. It will hurt. It will ache. In the beginning for me there was a reckoning of just how far I’d let my physical fitness go. I had to learn to focus on each little accomplishment because the road ahead seemed just too damn long. Sometimes those little accomplishments are just making it around the block. There are shin splints and cramps and side stitches. Then we learn to move past the physical pain. We discover work arounds to the pain and the inconvenience. Running is a fantastic metaphor for emotional pain. That sometimes the only way around the pain is through it.

It will challenge you.

When you stick with it, it becomes impossible not to chase after that next thing. That faster pace, that longer distance, the next goal. Running will whisper in your ear, “That was awesome. Can you come just a little bit farther? What about this distance? How much do you love me? Wanna go a little faster?” Running will taunt you. “Betcha can’t beat your last time…”

It will change you.

Running will restore your belief in the impossible. Distances or paces just out of reach will become your new reality as you set your sight on the next goal. Striving for improvement will bleed over into every other facet of your life. Running just does that. It changes who you are; physically, mentally and emotionally.

What has running taught you?

Turn Off the Noise

I’m really tired.

I’m tired of all the drama, the hype, the noise around pursuing a healthy lifestyle.

Have you heard the term orthorexia? According to the National Eating Disorders Association:

Orthorexia nervosa is not currently recognized as a clinical diagnosis in the DSM-5, but many people struggle with symptoms associated with this term.

Those who have an “unhealthy obsession” with otherwise healthy eating may be suffering from “orthorexia nervosa,” a term which literally means “fixation on righteous eating.”  Orthorexia starts out as an innocent attempt to eat more healthfully, but orthorexics become fixated on food quality and purity.  They become consumed with what and how much to eat, and how to deal with “slip-ups.”  An iron-clad will is needed to maintain this rigid eating style.  Every day is a chance to eat right, be “good,” rise above others in dietary prowess, and self-punish if temptation wins (usually through stricter eating, fasts and exercise).  Self-esteem becomes wrapped up in the purity of orthorexics’ diet and they sometimes feel superior to others, especially in regard to food intake.

Basically, we’ve become so obsessed with diet and exercise it’s on its way to becoming classified as a disorder. To quote Amber Rogers from Go Kaleo, “…nothing says ‘elitism’ better than a long list of foods you CAN eat, but won’t.”

Seriously.

As a person looking to help people in the arena of health and fitness, I find it sad that as far back as most of us can remember, people have struggled with self acceptance, physical appearance, diet and exercise. Aren’t we tired of the dieting culture yet? Aren’t we better than constantly striving for a physical aesthetic? Do we really want to be 75 years old and STILL on some stupid diet?! Aren’t we tired of the noise of ‘Eat this, don’t eat that!’? Even outside of this particular subject, a flip through the Facebook feed will reveal the same kind of noise regarding all kinds of subjects; mommy wars, religious superiority, crafty moms vs. anti-pinterest moms, lifters vs. runners, cross fitters vs. everyone else, and on and on it goes. Follow this guru! No wait, this one is a quack! But this other one is science-based! Follow this person! What?! You follow {insert group/person of choice here}?!

Why don’t we ask questions like “What can I do?,” “What do I think?” or  “How can I serve?” instead of “How do I look?” and “Am I fat?”

I’m really just tired of the noise and the negativity.

Yes, we live in the real world. We like to look nice.  I’m not saying there is anything wrong with dressing up or wearing make up, eating healthfully and working to improve physical fitness etc. But where does the motivation lie? How about doing these things because they make US feel better. Not to please others or to fit into some arbitrary jean size. I love to workout. I like the way it makes me feel. My body works better when I take care of it. The black hole of depression is kept at bay through physical fitness. I love being able to help others feel better in their skin, too.

I say let’s focus on other goals instead of obsessively, compulsively fixating on food and exercise.

Let’s reach out to a friend who needs it.
Let’s cook meals at home instead of eating out. Let’s eat it around the dinner table with people we care about.
Why not try something we’ve never done before?
Why not join that group exercise class? Or go for a bike ride? Or do yoga – or anything else that floats your boat?
Let’s be a little more real. Even when it is scary.
Let’s let go of a “someday” ideal and go out and be the best we can be. Right now.
Let’s find something that lights our fire and go after it with reckless abandon.

If you, like me, are tired of the noise, let’s all collectively turn it off. Shut it down.

And go be our own awesome.

More Miles

“Mom, I want to run one mile a day for a hundred days. Then I will have ran 100 miles!” – Jacob, 6.

Be still my beating heart.

Out of the blue my son told me this while driving to a haircut appointment. I wasn’t asking him to run, I wasn’t telling him “Hey, you should be active and get some exercise” while I sat the couch.

I’m sure he’s overheard Eric and I discussing plans to allow for me to run and get in my miles these past few weeks. He gets excited to play dodgeball in the back yard. He hears us discussing workouts, eating healthfully, and planning meals. He loves going on family bike rides. He understands why our dogs need plenty of exercise. It’s sinking in. When I lead the kids (and the dogs, for that matter) by example, they will follow. “Do as I say, not as I do” never works.

The fact that he chose running is the cherry on top! It looks like I’ll be continuing my streak at least to 200 – with a really great running buddy!

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Shut Her Up

I set out to run a total of 500 miles in 2014. Late this fall, inspired by my niece, I decided to kick it into high gear and complete a 100 day streak – which would force me to complete my mileage goal. There were days when I really really did not want to get out there and run. Days when I just had to force myself out the door after wearing my running clothes around the house for 3 hours battling that little quitter voice in my head. You know the one. Most of the time that voice tells nothing but lies. Every time I ignore that voice and do what I know will make me feel better (in this case running or working out) the next time that voice gets quieter and easier to shut down. As of today, I have shut her up 100 days in a row.

I shut her up when she told me that a goal of 500 miles was too aggressive.

I shut her up when she said that it doesn’t really matter what I’ll do – I’ll never get “there”. Wherever “there” might be.

I shut her down when she focused on how tired or sick I was*.

She stopped talking when I did my runs on vacation, while moving across the country, and while staying in the Navy Lodge.

I shut her up when she tried to make me feel like a bad wife, or a bad mom because my fitness was taking time away from my family. (As if self care doesn’t benefit them by my not being a raging lunatic!)

She didn’t have much to say when I challenged myself to virtual races, 5K Resolution runs, half marathons and even the Tough Mudder.

And she will shut up again tomorrow when I run 4 more miles to round out the year with 500 miles total.

Fitness doesn’t come naturally to me. That voice and I battle all the time. The more I ignore that voice, the stronger mentally I become. These 100 days have shown me how to deal with the procrastination, the natural laziness, and am so much better for it. I also set myself up for success. If I set a goal, I announce it. That holds me accountable. There is no way I could say “I’m running a streak,” and then not do it. Not a chance. By using Facebook and even this blog – I hold myself accountable.

I just love our running and fitness community.

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How cool is it that people who don’t know each other randomly grin and high five – simply because we are both out there doing our thing? I think it’s AWESOME. 10 days ago I calculated that I would need to run 5 miles everyday to the end to get these miles done. You know what happened? People volunteered to virtually run or walk them with me! Who volunteers to help out? Fellow runners, that’s who!!! Knowing my niece was up in the middle of a Minnesota winter running these miles with me, or that my pregnant friend was walking her miles with me, and my other niece who runs half marathons while dealing with Crohn’s  – that and more has kept me motivated more than you know. It gave me the push to the finish and I am so humbled and proud to say I am a part of your ranks. Runners: You ROCK!

I would be remiss if I didn’t thank the one person who helps me shut up the voice on a daily basis; my husband. While not a runner himself (even though he can, has long legs and runs like a gazelle – grrrr….so jealous!) he knows how important is to me, and to my sanity. He always asks how my run was, if I got it in and rearranges his schedule to accommodate runs. I could not ask for better support!

Here’s to a fantastic 2015, a new year, new goals and continuing to shut up that voice that says you can’t!

Because you totally can. 

*A note on working out while sick: my rule of thumb is that if it is neck and up, go for it! If the sickness is in your chest, aka, neck and below – take a day off. All my sicknesses where colds/germs brought home from the minions and the germ havens (aka preschool and kindergarten) they attend. 

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