Life and Other Stuff

Sobriety, parenting, life….and other stuff

recent posts

  • Big ol’ Bucket

    Today marks my 208 week streak (4 years!) with Peloton. It’s no secret that dumb things motivate. Hello?! I ride a bike in my house that goes nowhere and get virtual badges for my efforts. On paper – I get it. SO. DUMB.

    But…it works.

    This is the longest stretch of consistency with nutrition and fitness. In large part – that’s due to the Peloton and its communities. This long-term thinking about health and health span actually does work. Aesthetics and smaller clothes are a nice side benefit but are only motivation for a short while.

    As part of this consistency and focus, a medical checkup was long overdue. The 3 blood pressure readings they took at the doc’s office a couple of weeks ago were elevated, prompting a two-week tracking to see if I was, in fact, hypertensive. Complaining to my husband that their machine had to be wrong (yes, all three times), he shook his head at me as he got out his blood pressure cuff for me to use. The 2 weeks are up today and I WAS RIGHT! For whatever reason, it was elevated that day, their machine was off or there were gremlins messing with me because it’s been consistently right around 100/60. YES!

    Do I want to stay out of the doc’s office as much as possible? YOU BET. Do I want to not have to take meds? Of course. Beyond that, do I feel good? Can I walk up the hills around my neighborhood and not be winded? (18 months ago, I was laid out with a nasty upper respiratory infection that had me wheezing for weeks!) I don’t even have to huff and puff to get up these hills lately – which means improved lung and heart function! Am I in the moment with the dogs as we walk? Can I appreciate the gorgeous flowers EVERYWHERE that are blooming? Can I do cartwheels with my kids and play tetherball – and still beat them?! Am I sleeping well? Do I have energy and vigor to greet the day? In short – is life pretty good overall?

    Yes.

    This 4-year milestone is just a silly virtual badge, but it is a representation of habit change and worth celebrating. Wrapping up a running program (Completed!) was worth celebrating. Kids wrapping up their school year has me feeling excited about looser schedules and summer fun around the corner. (CELEBRATE!) We are loving our neighborhood and the fresh limes and lemons in the yard! Celebrating that by being Neighbor Nancy and setting out a bucket of lemons to share! (I love being the Lemon Lady!) My husband surprised me with a Cala Lily (my fave) yesterday and our little herb garden is growing strong, too!

    It’s a big bucket of good stuff lately.

    As the cliche goes, we can’t pour from an empty cup bucket. Training in whatever modality is not the point. Train for life outside of the gym. Train for life and longevity. Train for mental health. Train for having mobility and avoiding falls and being stiff and uncomfortable. Train to maintain balance. Train so we can be around and healthy for our loved ones. Working out and getting fit is great – but it’s the living of our life we are training for.

    How are you filling your bucket today?

  • Run #50

    I have started more than a few organized running programs, such as Couch-to-5k and others from famous running coaches and apps – but I’ve never completed any of them in 13+ years of running.

    Because dumb things motivate me, such as virtual badges of achievement, I started yet another program, only this time it was via the Peloton platform. I know I’ve run far more than 50 times over the years since I ran my first mile without stopping, but it was the 50th Peloton run.

    8 weeks ago I thought, “eh…why not?” not realizing that the last run in the series would coincide with the 50th run overall. TWO BADGES?! YES please! (Again, dumb things motivate.)

    Over these weeks, each run has focused on the basics such as cadence, pace, proper form, warming up and cooling down and of course stretching after. It’s been invaluable to me as I dip my toes back into the running waters. The classes all build toward the goal of a sustained 30-minute run. It’s beautifully coached by inspiring instructors and I’ve been singing the praises of this series of classes to anyone who will listen.

    I fell in love with running in 2011. I hated it at first. Some runs were better than others and over time, it got easier. I got faster and did races I never would have believed possible. Pushed kids in strollers in community 5ks. Chased my kids around parks and did what could be done around deployment schedules. I even -gasp!- ran on a dreadmill for a while! Now, even though I’ve been cycling and lifting heavy things more frequently, it’s clear that running never fell out of love with me.

    It has been waiting patiently for me to remember.

  • HOPs

    It’s no mystery that being outdoors is amazing medicine for our mental health. Personally, it’s been an oft-used tool in the anti-depressant toolkit. (Moving closer to the equator had a big role in that as well!)

    We started this thing in a fitness group chat called HRPs, or Happy Run Photos, that morphed into Happy Walk Pics, or Happy Hike pics and are now simply HOPs – Happy Outdoor Pics. Doing something active outdoors? POST IT! We want to see that! What’s kind of funny is that it’s also a sobriety focused group so the play on hops is kind of tongue-in-cheek in that we no longer drink hoppy beverages.

    Instead of my usual trail runs and hikes as of late, a friend and I met up for a hike I’d never done before, but she had with her family. To say it was gorgeous was an understatement. Even on a cloudy day – Torrey Pines was showing off! I hope to never lose the awe I have at nature – no matter where we live.

    As we got down the trail to the beach, I had to laugh when I pointed out that the rocky part was what all Puget Sound beaches are like:

    Awe…just like in Washington!

    We also cracked up when we realized we wore the EXACT SAME leggings.

    Yep, we both dig purple!

    Following our 4+ mile hike, we ventured to a cute breakfast spot and had yummy eats and a latte! (With almond milk, of course.)

    The cliffs were breathtaking. Hikers and runners all around, I was reminded once again why I love San Diego. Not only are there state parks all over, the ocean a quick drive away, I love how active it is. There are ALWAYS people out hiking, biking and even just walking dogs.

    A happy HOPs Friday indeed!

  • Running

    I had planned to do a couple of runs a few days ago. Well over halfway done with an 8-week running program, the kids’ spring break demolished my carefully laid plans to workout. I used to run all the time. Over a decade ago, I ran multiple times per week and cross trained with bootcamp style workouts, and regularly ran 5-10k races working my way up to a one and only marathon.

    Much of my writing here early on was fueled by run-induced endorphins. Epiphanies and life lessons paralleled my running progress. Running now, it’s as if no time has passed (with the exception of my feet – they are far more comfy in better shoes – thank you HOKA!) Nature provides so much solace and running has once again become a moving meditation.

    In a word – heaven.

    The trails near where we live offer lots of opportunities to get lost in the hills and absorb all the goodness of the run.

    Wrapping up my time and about to head back home, I was stopped dead in my tracks by not one, but TWO butterflies flitting around a couple of trees. Standing still, I was able to snap a few thousand pics of which about 4 were actually good. Universe winks are thrilling, and butterflies and seagulls seem to be the most frequent channel into which I tune.

    Working at and for fitness is a damn gift. Overwhelmed by gratitude, I took a moment to breathe it all in.

    I get to do this.

    There may come a day when I won’t get to run, but today is not that day. I can’t wait until the next one!

  • What Are You Eating?

    I have been asked this question many times. Someone I haven’t seen in a while remarks on body composition changes, or clear skin, or some muscle definition. I get a message along these lines: “What are you doing? Is it 75 Hard? Whole 30? Give me the deets! You look great!”

    And as has happened before, when the answer is “a variety of strength, cycling, yoga, and eating plant-based whole foods”, I’m often met with crickets, blank stares or reasons why they could never give up cheese and bacon. Or the inevitable “but where do you get protein?”

    I don’t hate these questions and conversations. In fact, I love them. I love food, I love movement and I love the ability to educate with real info. This is the stuff that has changed my health and life for the better. Of course I’m happy to share what I’ve learned and what has worked to reverse chronic diet related disease!

    So in an effort to have all of this in one spot – here’s what I know to be true, a little of how I got here, and an expanded version of what I shared with training clients.

    No room for shame

    There is no room for shame when pursuing a more healthful diet. Zero shame in our nutrition game. So often people deify things like broccoli and quinoa, and vilify potatoes, candy or bread. When our food system is so flooded with misinformation, is it any wonder that someone without a scientific nutrition degree walks out of the grocery store with more confusion than confidence in their dietary choices? Zero shame. Food is not good or bad. It’s just food. Will some foods make the body feel better, or fuel a strong workout? YOU BET. But that doesn’t mean that nutritionally dense foods are somehow good, and you are good by consuming them. (Or conversely, bad for loving chocolate!)

    The food industry creates enough confusion to make the average consumer throw up their hands in defeat and say, “Screw it, everything is garbage so I might as well eat what tastes good!” With conflicted or dubious studies reported daily (eggs are healthy one day, unhealthy the next/butter is back!) It’s little wonder why most people just give up and eat what they have always eaten, what is cost effective, convenient, or what is highly palatable.

    The problem with highly palatable foods is that they are engineered to trigger our fat/sugar/salt taste receptors in a way that is not found in nature. Biologically speaking, our ancestors could not have found such high salt/high sugar/high fat fuel in nature. There are companies whose sole purpose is to minutely engineer food to make it irresistible – so that consumers will purchase more. (1)

    I once had a client bring her daughter to workout with me. When discussing their habits in the home and how often they dine out or cook at home it came to light that every single meal was eaten out. The home kitchen was merely used for reheating leftovers and the coffee machine. It was a cultural norm that once a certain level of economic success had been reached, it made cooking for oneself obsolete. The daughter knew only fast foods and restaurants as primary and regular food sources. It was little wonder that both the client and the daughter were overweight, unhealthy and possessed little understanding of what they were putting into their bodies, nutritionally speaking.

    I don’t share this experience to shame or demean, but it is a prime example of a culture where convenience is prized above all. The market where this situation took place contained 17 fast food establishments in a 2 mile radius, with 2 more being built. It was in a region of the country known for diet related diseases and death. (2)

    While the nutritional landscape may not be our personal fault, it is our responsibility to take care of our personal health and fitness, and model that for our kids. This means that while we need to encourage folks to move more, what happens at the end of our fork is far more important than most realize.

    Nutrition is a long-term endeavor.

    Most people set nutrition goals in terms of weight loss. Not a bad goal in general, but it does set one up for failure as it uses only one metric. Losing weight is a misnomer in that what most people mean, is that they want to lose FAT, not just weight.

    The second metric tied into losing overall weight as a goal is the time factor. “I want to lose X number of lbs by Y date.” There are only 2 metrics to measure; lbs and time. Often, this will set a person up for a binary success/failure mindset.

    Instead of trying to lose 40 pounds by the reunion in two month’s time, reframing health is a key for long term results. Why not ask this key question:

                “Is this way of eating/exercising/specific habit something I can maintain into my 80s and 90s?”

    If the answer is laughable, or a hearty no, then why are we entertaining it now? Do we want to be on a cabbage soup diet, discussing our clothing sizes into our golden years? Do we want to chase down the latest fad diet book?  I certainly don’t. Think long term. Think abundance. Think about adding things in, instead of deprivation. 

    Newsflash: there is no easy button, and your life is not Staples. There is no shortcut, no magic supplement or butter in the coffee that is going to make you look like a supermodel. Or your 16 year old self. Or whatever an overnight transformation might look like.

    If we want to be active and mobile and truly healthy into our later years, it is imperative that we stay flexible, exercise regularly, AND look at increasing whole foods; whole grains, fruits, vegetables, legumes, etc.., things that do not sit on the pantry shelves for months and years. As the axiom goes, you cannot outrun a bad diet.

    As we age, our activity levels often decrease. With that may come a decreased appetite, and that in turn can make it hard to not only maintain muscle mass but get all the nutrients we need. (5) Sleep can often change with age as well. Sleep disruptions can have weight repercussions. Genetic factors come into play, but it’s a case of the chicken or the egg. Families may have genetic components to weight gain, but they also tend to eat similarly.

    Strength training to maintain muscle mass, good nutrition, good sleep, and hydration will combat excess weight gain. It becomes more imperative to adhere to these habits as we age. Making nutrition, movement and sleep a priority is a must for long term health outcomes.

    Nutritional myths busted.

    “I don’t have time to cook.”

    Wrong. We don’t make time for cooking. We live in a world of convenience and automation. We push a button to wash our clothes. We have power windows in our vehicles. Temperature adjustments in our home can be completed remotely with an app on our phones. Automation and convenience are everywhere. We have shifted away from the way our bodies were designed: to move. This convenience in terms of food preparation and exercise is literally killing us. (3)

    There are 24 hours in a day allotted to all of us. If we have time to scroll socials on our phones, or binge the latest series on Netflix, we have time to prepare meals to feed our bodies. As parents it is CRITICAL that we teach our kids how to feed themselves. We must make time. If we keep doing what we’ve been doing, yup. You guessed it, we are going to keep getting the same results.

    Make cooking a family affair. Both partners eat? Both partners can prepare meals. Involve kids if they are old enough, but even little ones can help with dinnertime tasks such as washing vegetables, setting the table, etc.

    “Eating healthy is too expensive.”

    The reality is opposite. Whole beans and whole grain rice is a very nutritionally dense dish that costs pennies. What is expensive is outsourcing food preparation. Pre-cut veggies and fruits save time as they are designed to be grab and go, but the cost is in the labor. Buying a whole watermelon is far cheaper than buying a small bowl of pre-cut watermelon cubes. (Usually, the precut fruit is over ripe and about to go bad anyway).

    Produce in its whole food form is far cheaper per ounce than the precut/portioned containers and trays. While convenient, if looking to save money it is far better to do the dicing and slicing at home.

    Purchasing a whole chicken instead of just the white meat tenders is another way to save at the grocery. When I did eat meat, this is one way I would save money, quartering the chicken myself and freezing portions for later use. It’s the buying in bulk/preserving that our parents and grandparents often did and is cost effective.

    “Healthy food tastes bad.”

    Maybe. For a time, it may seem like whole foods are flavorless and boring compared to the highly processed food-like substances we may be used to. Give it about 12-14 days, because guess what? Bodies are AMAZING. Taste buds do adapt and change! What is bland and boring will seem flavorful and delicious once the over salted/over sugared/high fat food is eliminated. It does take some time, though. Ripe fruit will taste like candy.

    “I need more protein.”

    I have one question: Has anyone ever been admitted to the hospital for a protein deficiency? Not likely unless they were not getting enough calories overall in the first place. Protein deficiency is NOT the problem people! (4) Fiber, on the other hand, is in short supply in most standard American diets. Meat, eggs, commercially produced breads, enriched pastas and white rice have little to no fiber. Fiber rich foods are the ones to seek, not high protein foods.

    Think I’m crazy for this stance on protein? Consider the strongest animals on the planet. The gorilla or the elephant likely come to mind. Strongest animals that also consume a high fiber, plant-based diet. Newsflash: plants have protein! And in quantities sufficient for maintaining health. Heck – there are even body builders that have adopted a high fiber, whole food plant-based diet. Protein deficiency has never been the problem. But they do sell a lot of shakes!

    “I don’t know how to cook!”

    Do you know how to read? If you do, then you can learn to cook. We may not possess culinary skills YET, but we can learn! Check out cookbooks from the library, or order ones with your favorite cuisine to have on hand. Experimenting with cookbooks and food magazines gets us out of food ruts and the boring same ole, same ole each week. If resources allow, consider signing up for a basic cooking course! One of the best things about the internet is the plethora of recipes and YouTube how-to videos available for FREE!

    There is a learning curve, to be sure. But it can be fun to learn new things – and very tasty!

    Preparation is key

    Food prep doesn’t have to be an hours long session in the kitchen every day, but a few tips and weekly tasks can make our time in the kitchen more efficient.

    When groceries are purchased, take the time to wash, cut and portion as needed. A slimy head of lettuce left in the bottom of the veg drawer is something no one wants to deal with. It’s also a waste of money.

    Keep an organized pantry and fridge. If available, consider purchasing food storage containers that are see-through or have transparent lids. If the food is visually appealing, it is more likely to get eaten! A cost-effective container system is simple mason jars with screw top lids (sold separately). Mason jars are great containers for carrot sticks, cucumber slices, premade salads and berries. They take up less real estate on the fridge shelf and are easily organized. Just be sure to wash and dry all food thoroughly before storing.  Moisture is the enemy of longevity in terms of produce storage.

    Have a greens base prepped and ready to go. I make a simple chopped romaine, cabbage and shredded carrot base each week to work in several recipes. This is a case where I sometimes splurge on the premade salad mixes. I start with a fresh head of romaine, rinsed and chopped. (Using a salad spinner will eliminate more moisture and make the salad last longer!) I then add in that premade cabbage/carrot/kale mix for a little added boost. When I have more time, I will chop it all by hand. Pro-tip: the premade salad mixes do not last long. Chopping fresh veg will make the overall salad last the longest.  Don’t like kale? No problem! Use spinach or greens that work for you and change it up as desired for additional nutrition. Salad bases can be used for soup and salad night, in wraps and sandwiches, or on tacos! My favorite is to make a taco salad or buddha bowl with salad greens as the base!

    Look for cookbooks. I love cookbooks that contain recipes that are simple and easy to make. No one wants to run all over trying to find obscure ingredients. Experiment with recipes and broaden taste horizons.

    To make dishes healthier, go by cuisine type. I love Mexican food. To boost the health factor, I use corn tortillas instead of flour. In place of shredded lettuce, I use cabbage, or kale or my salad base I have on hand. I minimize or eliminate the higher fat condiments like excess cheese or sour cream. Asian cuisines are typically full of vegetables in general so it’s an easy nutritional upgrade to minimize sugar laden sauces with simple soy sauce in stir frys. Swap in tofu for a healthy alternative to pork or chicken. Making simple changes to cuisine we already enjoy is an easy way to make healthy eating easier.

    Changing habits takes time. Give it time.

    Move daily. Period. Keeping it on the to do list instead of “if I get time” is non-negotiable.

    I prepare food for meals at home (and rarely eat out), sometimes multiple meals bc I have a kid on the spectrum and an incompatible food family. Ha! I have the luxury of this bc I stay home with the kids. When I did work, big batches of soups, casseroles, and crock pot dinners were in heavy rotation.

    Eat mindfully. Not in a whoo-hoo zen sort of way, but mindlessly shoving a bite or two while making lunches or dinners adds up.  

    Stop the late night snacking. Nothing after 7:30pm. When we eat and then go to bed – all of that unused energy ends up getting stored. Utilize the principle of Eat like a king for breakfast (we are breaking the fast), a prince for lunch, and a pauper for dinner. It’s  great rule of thumb as our energy needs throughout the day decrease over time.

    Meal plan. Have a loose idea of meals to make for the coming 4-5 days. Shop for those ingredients. Have them prepped and ready to go. I don’t like a strict meal plan in general because what if I’m not in the mood for tacos on Tuesday? Well, I’ve got the ingredients in the fridge ready to go so if Thursday works better that week – we can be flexible.

    Ditch the junk. Get it out of the house. If the crap isn’t there then you have to REALLY want it to get in the car and go get it. It’s not feeding and fueling us anyway. Unopened items can be donated to a local food bank. My rule of thumb is if it didn’t have a mother or come from the ground, don’t eat it. (I’m a plant based person, so that has been modified for me personally, but it is a good rule of thumb.)

    Personal Notes:

    I have lost significant weight 3 times. The first time I lost 50lbs in 6 months doing bootcamp workouts 4x/week and running on off days. The second time I lost about 30 lbs I was working in a gym, had a roster of 30 personal training clients, taught senior strength classes 2x/week and taught Spin 2-3x/week. In both of those cases, my activity rate was sky high, and I was basically attempting to out work the okay diet. I wasn’t eating junk, but I wasn’t as healthy as I could have been.

    I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in 2016. While working at the gym. I was fit and healthy (or so I thought). It scared me. I was told to “go easy on the carbs” by my doctor’s office, but not much else. Frustrated, I decided to hire a professional and learn something about nutrition because what I was doing was obviously not working.

    Working with a Registered Dietician brought my A1C number down a bit, but only a few points. Nothing to write home about. At the time I was continuing to read anything I could get my hands on regarding Type 2 Diabetes and how to stave off the worst of the outcomes. This is when I found Forks Over Knives, which led to further resources that explained some of the science about what causes type 2 diabetes and other diet related diseases. The Plant Powered Way with Rich Roll, How Not to Die by Dr. Greger (7), Dean Ornish’s books, and Engine 2 with Rip Essylstyn (6) all promised some amazing results and even complete remission of these diseases. I was skeptical but didn’t have much to lose. I could always go back to what I was doing.

    After just a few months, my bloodwork was done again. My doctor at the time called me after hours from her personal phone to share the results with me because she couldn’t wait. I had reversed the diabetes – my A1C number was now in the normal range!  Beyond that, my skin cleared up (I’ve had chronic cystic acne my whole teenage/20s and into my 30s). It was gone. I had more energy, I slept better, and was less sore even after hard workouts. I also ditched alcohol in 2017, which was a huge boost in terms of health.

    With my own experience, it’s very difficult to give nutrition advice, and not at least mention that I am about 95% whole food plant based. It’s difficult to not only refute the science, but also the profound results I’ve gained from eating this way most of the time.

    Eating plant based and losing weight at a slower pace, I’ve lost over 35 lbs. More importantly, muscle mass has increased as body fat percentages have gone down.

    While I have tracked weight, it’s not the only metric to track. It doesn’t provide the complete picture.  Muscle mass, clothing size, P/W ratio and FTP on the Peloton, VO2 max have all gone in healthier directions and continue to do so. 

    One final note: I do not consume alcohol. For me it was an issue, as I’ve written about previously. in terms of nutrition and health – alcohol is a toxic substance with zero health benefits. To learn more about health consequences of alcohol consumption, I highly recommend listening to the Huberman Lab podcast on the topic.

    Resources and Further reading

    1.      https://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/24/magazine/the-extraordinary-science-of-junk-food.html?smid=url-share

    2.      Obesity, diabetes rates higher in Corpus Christi | kiiitv.com

    3.      Children’s Life Expectancy Being Cut Short by Obesity – The New York Times (nytimes.com)

    4.      Proteinaholic: How Our Obsession with Meat Is Killing Us and What We Can Do About It – Kindle edition by Davis M.D., Garth, Jacobson, Howard. Health, Fitness & Dieting Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

    5.      The reality of menopause weight gain – Mayo Clinic

    6.      PLANTSTRONG – Helping You Live Your Best PLANTSTRONG Life.

    7.      NutritionFacts.org | The Latest Nutrition Related Topics

  • Hard Things

    Got a message from a friend asking if I’d listened to the latest Huberman Lab podcast. I hadn’t, but quickly went to load it onto my “Up Next” list because I love Huberman and have recommended his episode on What Alcohol does to the Body about a bazillion times. (No lie, actual number.)

    I’m halfway through the episode and I had to stop and share it and write about it because it’s just that good. Also, throughout my dog walk people were starting to stare at me because I keep screaming, “YES!!” I had to come home and get it out of my brain. Lord, I feel like I’ve just been to church, if church was a sobriety meeting and a fitness meeting and a how to be an adult meeting all rolled up into one!

    “Vulnerability is how you fix yourself,” came through my ear buds and no lie, I stopped my walk immediately and jotted an audio note to myself. We have to get real with ourselves. Being vulnerable is the only way to get to authenticity. They are 2 sides of the same coin. Goggins went on to discuss passion.

    “Where’s the motivation when you can’t read? When you’re 300 lbs? There’s no passion there! But I just did it anyway. It was hard. But I did it anyway.”

    That’s it. That is the key. Making a choice. Taking action.

    That’s what fitness and nutrition and committing to quality sleep and hydration and – well, being a mature adult is at its core. It’s making the choice to do the hard thing regardless of how we feel. (And it’s honestly all hard. Life is hard.) Action breeds motivation. We can’t wait for motivation to act. Goggins’ discussion about passion and doing things despite having a lack of passion and motivation reminded me of an old friend. He used to say “Drinking is hard, sober is hard. Choose your hard.” I hated it because it wasn’t how I would phrase it to a person new to sobriety, but that friend was not wrong. It applies to EVERYTHING. Do I like flossing? No. It feels like a time suck and I can think of 784 things I’d rather do. Does it help me in the long run? You bet! Keeps me from getting cavities, bad breath and expensive trips to the dentist. Both are hard. Choose the hard.

    Mind blown, I continued to listen through the episode. Goggins discusses his own life, difficult circumstances and his thoughts on being misunderstood. While he explains that he’s not a neuro-scientist like Huberman, what we need is all in us already. We know what to do. We can choose. We have agency to do hard things.

    Later into the episode, Huberman and Goggins went on to discuss the anterior mid-cingulate cortex part of the human brain. Anterior, what now?! I know. It’s a mouthful. It’s a neural structure that has been shown to be involved with tenacity and will power. The oversimplified explanation: When we do things we don’t really want to do, this part of the brain grows. What does that look like in action? When we get up and workout, especially when we don’t want to, and even if we know we will feel better afterwards, this stimulates the anterior mid-cingulate cortex. The friction we feel in not wanting to do what we know is good for us – actually helps us and our willpower grow stronger! In my own experience, I feel this to be true. Ever get on a roll and be consistent in exercise and then wonder why in the heck you ever stopped?! Yep. Same. It’s a snowball effect. Our brain literally helps us to do thing things we don’t want to do! The body and brain are FREAKING AMAZING!

    People laugh when I tell them I really hate working out. When I’m sipping my coffee in the morning and looking at my day – if left to the voice in my head, she’ll think of 5000 things to do OTHER than working out. Every. Day. It sucks. What doesn’t suck is the results of consistency in training. It’s damn hard to be overweight. It’s uncomfortable and painful. Clothes don’t fit, moving is difficult and strenuous, not to mention the social aspects of being overweight. It sucks not feeling good in your skin. It’s also hard to be consistent with diet and exercise. Meal planning and cooking from scratch and grocery shopping are not fun activities. Both options are HARD. One is not harder than the other – both SUCK. The results of these 2 paths though are very different. Both hard, both lead to sometimes drastically different outcomes.

    If the key is to choose the hard thing, despite how we feel about it, and it’s already in us, where do we even start? Maybe the hard thing is to learn a little more. Maybe it’s starting with consistency, setting a goal and committing the time to achieve it. I LOVE this stuff. Overcoming ourselves (read= excuses) reaps so many benefits. It never gets old. The goals get reached and then new goals are set and attained. Rinse and Repeat.

    What is your hard thing? Got some goals for the upcoming year? How do you overcome the part of you that really resists doing what you know you should?

    (If you haven’t already – go listen to the episode!)

  • Default Thinking

    The atmosphere of race events is contagious, invigorating and like nothing else. From bootcamp, half marathons and biathlons in Hawaii, a sprint triathlon in Washington, military 5k and 10k races on base, to Warrior dashes and even a Tough Mudder event – all of these things are fitness fun that, as an adult, I have marveled at my ability to do. I am never the fastest, nor the slowest, but I train and show up, even if I’m petrified. The victory is always there, just across the finish line.

    The usual M.O. is to sign up for something, historically it’s a friend encouraging me to do so, I get scared, but show up anyway. Then surprise myself by being able to do what once seemed impossible. (So many posts about this here, here, and here. 😂 What can I say? It’s a recurring theme.)

    It’s been a minute since I’ve run a race or completed any sort of fitness event. The pandemic of course shut things down and while living in Washington, where it gets dark at 3:30 in the afternoon in the dead of winter, training and physical activity tended toward the indoors. Of course, the Peloton platform was an ideal fit. I jumped right into to the cult club! Ask most folks who ride or row or run regularly on a Peloton and you will likely get a heartfelt response from a devotee of the brand. I am no different. Digital badges and community – all virtual and all from the comfort of our living rooms and garages?! Yes, please! In person events aren’t inherently better than virtual ones, just different. Both have pros and cons. After seeing my son compete in his first few cross country meets, I felt that camaraderie and infectious energy full force!

    Community is a key component to the Peloton experience. Any interest you can think of, there’s likely a Peloton group associated with it. One of my groups that I ride with regularly is a sober group. As much as I love live/in person events, the team effort and generosity this pack of strangers I’ve never met in real life have become real support. We have teams for PowerZone challenges. We ride at set times when we are able. We slap each other’s faces while riding, doling out copious amounts of virtual high fives and hands on each other’s backs. Riding, running, lifting and encouraging each other in our fitness, and our sobriety, is awe-inspiring.

    Then there’s other events. Distance, climbing and running paired with the Peloton, Summit events are weekend to week-long feats of endurance. I’ve done the Pelofondo, as the distance event is called, a couple of times. You set a mileage distance goal and have a weekend to achieve it. It was the way I completed my first century ride. The current Summit challenge is the climb. I’ve never done a climb event before. I signed up for the last one and then backed out as I was in the middle of another challenge, and let’s face it, there’s only so many hours in the day. I’m a busy mom. I have errands to run and dogs to walk and meals to make and laundry to do….and ….and…

    Climbing freaks me out.

    I don’t know why. I have it in my head that I like fast and flat rides and I’m a low and slow endurance athlete. I’m not a sprinter. These are the things I have rattling around in my brain, setting unfounded limits. It’s where my brain goes by default. I signed up anyway because the rest of this awesome community that I’m a part of is also doing it. I don’t want to miss out.

    And …what if I can?

    One of the instructors rode up the actual Haleakala volcano on a fixed gear bike a few years ago and set up 5 – 60 min Climb classes simulating that ride. Some folks have strung together all 5 classes and completed them all in one go. It was something on the to do list, but never got around to it. One of the mountains to simulate in this challenge is also the Haleakala climb. It’s 10,000 vertical feet. It’s also the smallest of the mountains to choose from in this challenge. Coincidence? Of course not. SIGN ME UP!

    Sadly one of the 5 Haleakala classes has been purged and is no longer available. Stacking the remaining 4 climb classes with a few others to make up the difference, I’m now half way up the volcano, 1-2 hours each day. (Luckily we have 6 days to do this event!)

    When I signed up for this event, I signed up as an intermediate. I figure I’ve been riding long enough. Sure, I’m an intermediate.

    “But, it’s a climb. Are you sure you’re really that level?” the crap-talking voice in my head asks, slightly sneering in that ‘Bless your heart’ sort of way.

    I do the first class and the system knocks me back to beginner status. Sigh. “See, I told you,” Crap Voice says.

    So maybe I’m really not much of a climber. That’s fine. I will virtually climb these 10,000 feet and I will never have to do this again. Get the badge. Check. Done.

    “But…maybe?” Curiosity whispers.

    Second climb gets done. Based on the metrics of that ride, the system elevated up to intermediate. 60 minutes of one foot in front of the other, slow and steady – pedaling through mud, my legs clawed their way up a level. When I saw that I burst into tears. On a stationary bike. In my living room.

    Fitness and sports are so dramatic!

    Elated by this new intermediate status, I set up the next rides to be done the following day and proceeded to stretch. (2 hours on a bike – stretching, foam rolling and more stretching is just what the doctor ordered!!)

    This morning I walked the dogs to warm up and see how the legs were feeling. Not quite as sore as I thought I’d be, I quickly changed into cycling gear and clipped in for the 3rd day of climbing, aiming for the halfway mark.

    “Ughhh. This sucks,” Crap Voice declared.

    “Think about how amazing this is going to feel when you hit the last 5 minutes, the end is in sight, and you are drenched in sweat!” Determination countered.

    These challenges are so much like early sobriety. Itchy and antsy, and so uncomfortable. Our minds start babbling about all the icky parts, highlighting the negative. “Oof, was that a back twinge? Hope you don’t sleep wrong tonight,” Crap Voice taunted. “You’ve done enough…no harm in calling it off now. See how tired your legs are?”

    “We don’t quit!” Curiosity and Determination shouted, drowning out any negativity.

    Focusing on the music, the cadence of the pedal strokes, the rhythm of breathing in and out, I finished the ride. Minute by minute, interval by interval. One pedal at a time. Just like in sobriety; one day at a time.

    I logged the ride into the app. Based on the metrics, I was riding in the advanced level.

    I. Earned. Advanced.

    Possibly from sitting on the bike for so long mixed in with the huge sense of gratitude for the amazing ways our bodies can perform, more tears were shed.

    The dogs looked at me like I was insane.

    I probably am. I mean, riding a bike that goes no where in the living room for fitness fun?! Maybe. But by doing so, ever so slowly changing the default to what if we can?

  • Sports – A Love Letter

    Ahhh, sports. Athletics hasn’t been a huge thing for us as a family. Our son dabbled in little league for a couple of years. He was more interested in picking dandelions in the outfield than watching for pop fly balls. (Later we learned that his right eye is blind and of course that impacts his depth perception.) Our daughter experimented with gymnastics, and now is very much into golf. My poor husband loves team sports and has officiated multiple for the entirety of our marriage. Watching Hoosiers, Remember the Titans and Tin Cup will find him slightly swelling with emotion. The town rallies around the team as they lead the way to the state championship, or an athlete regaining former glory…..sigh. More recently it’s been Ted Lasso for us as a family.

    While I can appreciate a great sports film, I got into athletics a little later in life. I played 1 year of high school volleyball and enjoyed it for the most part, but only joined track because I had friends doing it and quit after 3 weeks when I heard the track coaches talking about how “it wasn’t a real workout unless someone pukes”. Not my jam. It wasn’t until my early 30s that I started to love movement and fitness. (I was dragged to a bootcamp workout group and, similar to my high school track experience, I went because I wanted to hang with friends.) Little did I know that that decision would lead to a series of things that changed my perspective on exercise.

    After working in a gym with people impacted greatly by living sedentary lives, one thing I’ve worked hard to instill in our kids is the importance of taking care of our physical selves. Nutrition, sleep, movement and play are all integral parts of that physical education. Over the last year, our kids have expressed an increased interest in trying out for middle and high school sports, much to my husband’s delight. As we move into this phase of school sports, summer time fitness endeavors and even just family game night, there are some things I hope the kids learn, lessons planted now that will continue into adulthood.

    Love Letter to my Kids: Sports Edition

    I don’t care if you make the team or not. Seriously. I want you to try out. I want you to put yourself out there. Nervous? Worried that you won’t know what you’re doing or you’ll feel dumb? Cool. Do it anyway. That’s what bravery is – being afraid and doing it in spite of fear. Beyond sports, being comfortable in the uncomfortable is part of life. You’ll feel that when you start a new job, or when you meet new people. You’ve already experienced it many times being the new person at school as a military kid. Try things new things.

    If you do make the team, be a reliable teammate. Show up on time. Work hard. Don’t complain. Encourage those around you. As you strive ahead, be sure to extend the hand behind you to help others. Team sports will prepare you to work with others – even others you may not like. You are not an island and no one does life and work alone. Being reliable teaches people that you can be depended upon.

    And guess what? You’ll probably make mistakes. So what? We’ve all had to learn how to do things – no one on the planet comes to a sport already knowing how to do it. Get curious. Have a beginner mindset. Learn all you can. You have to learn the fundamentals and practice them. The advanced skills will come. You won’t do things perfectly, and perfect is an illusion anyway. Do YOUR best.

    Be an active listener. Hear what your coaches and mentors are telling you. Coaches, umpires, referees – they do what they do because they love their sport and they love kids. They often take time out of their own life to spend with you. Honor that time by respectfully listening -and applying their advice. By listening, you learn.

    Not everyday will be spectacular. Know that some workouts and practices aren’t going to be stellar. You’ll be sore, you’d rather sleep in, or whatever else you may have going on. Where the brain goes, the body will follow. If you’re disciplined and consistent, results will come. Motivation wanes. Consistency is a greater skill to develop.

    Be a good sport. This probably goes without saying, but yeah, don’t be a poor sport. No flipping the monopoly board when you don’t get your way. Don’t yell at referees, threaten to slash their tires, or be ejected from the game in a heated moment*. Take a breath. Some times it’s your turn, sometimes it’s not. You win some, you lose some. Be as gracious at winning as you are in defeat. (*As a high school/college official, your Dad has stories. These things have happened. More than once.)

    This really isn’t about sports. Finding movement, a game, any physical activity you enjoy is a tool for a healthy life. Finding some kind of movement that brings you joy is a gift. It lays the groundwork now, so that you will have longevity, mobility, and health into your adulthood. If you take care of your body, age can be just a number. Growing older is a privilege. Being agile, independent and strong as we age – that’s the real goal.

  • Every Curl Counts

    She comes in the room,
    Hair a blaze.
    A rats nest,
    A crazy maze.

    They bounce,
    And they flutter.
    Filled with light,
    Making the whole world shudder.

    People straighten,
    And brush.
    Hiding before society’s eyes,
    Refusing the discovery how to rise.

    Coils and curls galore,
    Frizzy and tangled,
    A head of hair so strangled,
    Dull and decrepit,
    A burden.

    Mask the natural,
    Redo and Revise.
    Don’t let them see,
    What a surprise!

    Day after day,
    Pieces torn,
    Begins with a brush,
    Ends with a hush.

    But with a little bit of conditioner,
    Just a speck of moisture.
    Suddenly the whole world is your oyster!

    It begins with a boing,
    Transforms into an inner light.
    No more a fight,
    The war has been won,
    The torture is undone.

    Embrace the curls,
    Oh let them shine,
    A part of your natural design.

    Unfurl the mask,
    A golden pearl,
    They shimmer and spring,
    A vibrant crown waiting to be seen.

    They twirl and twist,
    Naturally bounce,
    Feel like a lion!
    But be careful, I might pounce.

    Every section, every curl,
    Each a story to be told,
    A tale about becoming uncontrolled
    In a world.

    They stand tall,
    Unapologetically bold.
    For you realized,
    Curls are canvas of true diversity.

    Let them bounce,
    Then them twirl,
    Don’t be afraid to announce:
    The mask has been lifted,
    Just because you realized that
    Every curl counts.

    By Hannah Stoffers

  • Code Red

    The school had had an active shooter practice drill a couple of weeks ago. My daughter was in class, but students were working in groups and didn’t hear the announcement that it was just a drill. She thought it was real and texted me. She was upset the rest of the day. We talked about it, let her vent. She took a bath, got a good night’s sleep. We carried on as we do.

    I remember watching the coverage of Columbine as it was happening. Kids just a few years younger than myself crying, streaming out of the school. I watched the screen, horrified. How can this be real? How is this happening?

    24 years later, I get the text that we all dread as parents. “Mom. School is in lockdown. I don’t think it’s a drill this time.” After a few minutes, I get the text from the district that the school is in lockdown, police are on site and we are not to come to the school.

    I went to the school.

    I didn’t care. And neither did 50-60 other parents. We parked away from the school, out of the way of police, of course, but there is no way I’m NOT coming to the school to get my kids if need be. After the police had cleared the campus an hour and a half later, parents were allowed on campus to get their kids if needed. There was a call that was taken seriously, but later turned out to be a prank that set this whole thing in motion. My daughter called me, and through her tears said she wanted to stay at school to be with her friends and finish the day. I don’t know if that was the right thing. Maybe I should have taken her and her brother out for the rest of the day. I let her take the lead and told her she knew herself and how she felt and that if that’s what she wanted to do, that was fine. I went to sit in my car for a minute to calm down.

    I’m so sick of this.

    I’m sick of teachers having to comfort kids, protecting their students with their own life, all while teaching the subjects they are passionate about and getting underpaid for the privilege of doing so.

    It is madness. How is this normal?!

    Tonight we ordered take out and ate dinner. Hannah and I went on a lovely evening hike afterward. We left our phones at home and climbed a couple of hills overlooking the valley where we live. A hike doesn’t fix the big stuff in days like today, but it felt good to get fresh air, get some elevation, say some gratitude prayers and clear our minds. Hannah wanted to go a little further and have some solo time, so I waited below and saw her tiny silhouette on top of the ridge with both hands raised. I mirrored her, raising my arms up in a V, witnessing her summit. She made her way back down and we walked home. Tomorrow counselors will be available, as will therapy dogs. Ironically the dogs were supposed to be on campus today, but of course had to be rescheduled. They will likely be well loved tomorrow.

    I write when I have things that need to come out of me. Hannah sings to the ocean or to the mountains. She whacks golf balls. We both like to hike. She also writes. She penned a heartbreaking poem tonight and asked me to share it. It’s called Code Red.

    Code Red
    We all feel dread
    Barricade the door
    And secure the floor

    Drill or no?
    We feel so low
    Hide behind a table
    But it doesn’t feel stable

    My tears keep flowing
    Can’t stop sobbing
    Can we keep going?
    Wait and wait behind the desk
    It all just feels like such a mess

    15 minutes now
    Teachers say it’s okay!
    But we know the truth.
    Although we are the youth,
    We know.
    It doesn’t take a sleuth
    Or even just a clue
    To know that this isn’t a drill.

    I hug my friends and cry,
    It feels like we’re about to die.
    And in this moment I am just helpless
    All I can do is wait.

    It’s been 30 minutes now.
    Feels like a million.
    My tears continue flowing and there is no stop to them.
    Nothing to do but hide,
    Nothing to do but cry.

    Cannot leave
    Just can’t breathe
    All I wanna do is grieve

    It’s been 45.
    At least we’re still alive!
    Stay quiet
    Cannot make a riot

    Hoping that my friends will be okay
    Texting them to see what they say
    I hate today.

    Breathe in and out.
    Without a doubt
    It was just a hoax
    Someone who has jokes

    One long hour.
    Just so sour.
    Everyone was okay.
    At least they said
    because of this code red.

    Living through a nightmare
    Like all my bad dreams
    All of these streams of tears.
    Gleams of hope
    But still no joke

    Feel like I’m going to explode,
    Just a load of bull
    Because of a 911 call.
    And in this world
    I feel so small.

    Hannah S.