Ready

To say I hate bugs would be an understatement. I’ve dealt with cane spiders (the size of my hand!), centipedes, and B52 bomber cockroaches in Hawaii, large and small spiders that crawl up the bath drain in Washington, water moccasins and fire ants in Florida and of course the beloved scorpions, mutant mosquitoes, crickets, wolf spiders and of course roaches here in Texas. Bugs are a part of life. And big ones are a part of life the closer to the equator we live.

I had bailed on our bike ride, not going near as far as we usually go, basically going as fast as I dared pushed them on their poor little legs. I sat in the tub as the tears came down my cheeks after having stripped off my workout clothes is a frenzied panic while the dogs watched, curious at my odd behavior. I looked down at my skin now covered in bites that were quickly becoming large welts as I frantically scraped my nails across my skin. Mosquitoes had swarmed me. Even in the breeze the insects clung to my skin, undeterred in their bloody mission. I really hate bugs. Like I probably have a phobia or something. I let the tears fall as I realized I was just mostly pissed off. Sometimes emotions just come up like that.

86 mosquito welts bring up the fact that I’m irritated.

I’m not in the place I want to be.

But here I am. I will continue to be here for a while longer, then I will leave, grateful for the light at the end of…

the school year

Corpus

humidity

Texas

deployment

the south

all the bugs

…the tunnel.

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Motivation’s Opposite

If yesterday was all about how we stay motivated to be consistent in our workouts, today is the exact opposite.

It’s been a week. I had appointments all lined up, new clients no-showed, others were late. Some showed up when they didn’t have appointments. It’s just one of those weeks where you have to laugh and roll with flow. Now it’s Friday and I’m not motivated. It’s humid out. I feel tired. I almost stepped in dog poop in the front yard (that wasn’t from my own dogs). Blah, blah, blah. Its ironic that when I don’t feel like doing something, I can find all the reasons excuses why skipping it would be “justified”. Some days are just like this. “Workout, I’m just not that into you.”

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But, I don’t give myself a choice in this. I know I will feel better after, so just stop taking selfies and go workout already! That’s what I did.

But…

Half way through the run I see very ominous looking clouds. “Sure feels like rain,” I told the dogs. (Yes, I do talk to them. Yes, out loud.) “I’m sure we’ll make it home before it really picks up.”

Drip, drip, drip.

Nope. Didn’t make it home before the rain. What started out as a light sprinkling in a matter of seconds became a big ol’ fat Texas downpour. My poor dogs. Buck was especially displeased with the sudden change of weather. We were also on the trail by my house, which means the soft dirt quickly became slippery mud. With every step I gained a half inch in height due to the accumulating muck on the soles of my shoes. At this point I just have to laugh because how else should a week like this finish?! Soaking wet, we trudge home both dogs shooting me irritated looks.

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Although you can’t tell, I’m soaked through and I’m dripping from my ball cap!

It’s just one of those days. After I showered, my phone buzzed with a client requesting to reschedule today’s appointment because her child is sick.

Again, I have to laugh. It’s gonna get better.

It always does.

V-8 Running

With a 5 mile training run to do today, I had to make the decision to either trudge along on the treadmill again (I’ve been doing that all week and I really don’t like it, but it’s a necessary evil at times) or brave the weather and do an outside run.

Let’s just say that this old 80’s commercial of the sideways walking dude was EXACTLY what I looked like trying to run in the 20+ mph wind today. Running along the sea wall, the ocean was literally slamming the rocks and splashing up over the sidewalk! It was funny, and I actually laughed and giggled at what a ridiculous sight I must’ve been. As I type this a few hours later, it’s still windy but the rain has stopped and the sun has decided to finally appear, if only for a moment. Go figure.

While running, leaping over puddles, and trying to breathe as the wind gusts literally made it difficult to get air into my lungs, I kept thinking about how this pursuit of fitness, and even a single run can be such a metaphor for life.

Everyone has hardships, life throws curveballs and unexpected events happen. It’s part of life. In a military family, we deal with all the same stuff as our civilian counterparts, but often it’s while our spouse is away. We have to say goodbye (again) to dear friends, and teach our children, as well as ourselves, to continue to keep an open heart even at the risk of it breaking.

We all have a backstory and hardships to bear, and it’s important to not compare life’s hurts. There is no “I have it so bad” because really, do we ever really know what someone else is walking through? Or if they have the skills to deal with what life can throw?

While running sideways, V-8 style, rain pelting me in the face and trying to keep my feet underneath me, it occurred to me that life is the same way. I can either choose to sit on the sidewalk, bury my head in my lap and get rained on, or I can do the best I can – put my head forward and run into the wind with the best of my abilities. I can’t control the weather or life, but I can control how I react to it. It always boils down to a choice.

Today I chose to run into the wind. It was a great run, I felt good and what started as a 5 mile training run that I wasn’t looking forward to, turned into a fun and windy 10k.

It was a good day to run outside. Even if it was a little stormy!

Do you prefer treadmills to cold weather conditions?