Fear and Blessings

Its been said that to dismantle fear, one must call it out. Fear loses it’s power when faced head on.  So here is my fear: Away from this beautiful location and the most wonderful friends and support group, and with an upcoming deployment, I am going to become a slob, eat myself silly and gain every pound back. (Hey, no one said that fears were rational!) For the past month or so as its really hitting me that the move is imminent, I have been scrambling and trying to suck up each and every moment knowing that things aren’t going to be as easy over the next year. I’m not going to be able to do all the things I want to do as has been the case. I can’t just go to a spin class whenever I feel like it. I can’t take off and climb a volcano. Time is running short.
I’ve been worried about how to get in my workouts and incorporate the kids. Washington is beautiful, but it does rain. A lot. And Jake is getting too big for the strollers. Doing videos are great, and there are gyms where I’m going (I am seriously not falling off the end of the Earth) but there is an accountability in group exercise that just isn’t replicated when working out solo.
I really had no idea how worried I was about all of this until last night. As I’m doing dishes and much of this is swimming around in my head, I get a text asking if I would like a spin bike. A friend’s brother just happens to be a trainer, they are getting “rid” of some of the gym’s old bikes and would I like one? Oh yeah, and it’s FREE!
Um. YES PLEASE!!! Woohooo!!!
There are no excuses!! I have a machine that I can work out on on days when working out outside just can’t be done. I feel so humbled and blessed that this friend thought of me. And I realized in that moment that I had been way more worried about this than I realized because there was this weight that just lifted. I cannot go back to the habits I used to have. I will not go back, regardless of our physical location.
And I was also reminded by another friend that if I want it (fitness/exercise/etc.) bad enough, I will figure out a way to make it happen. May not be an ideal, or what I would plan, but it can get done. And it just might be better than I expect. Instead of looking at all the things I’m going to miss about Hawaii and our life here, it’s time to start celebrating what I’ve accomplished and look forward to the new adventures that are just around the corner.
The me leaving this island is completely changed from the me that arrived here just 3 short years ago:
 This picture was taken weeks before we left Washignton. Jake was about 4 months old.
 December 2011 Marathon
I cannot enjoy the next chapter fully until I stop reading the previous one.
 Part of the beauty of military life is that you get the opportunity to meet all kinds of wonderful people and you never know whose path you will cross or who will cross yours! Some pretty amazing people have crossed my path and have forever changed my life. I wouldn’t trade these last three years for anything!

Here’s to the next adventure!


7 thoughts on “Fear and Blessings

  1. Wow – very well written! Congrats on your FREE spin bike! I'm kinda jealous because (and not to feed your fears of lack of workout opportunities while hubby is deployed) that IS my biggest challenge (on wait list for boot camp and free childcare!) I do like that part about how if you want it bad enough, you'll find a way to make it happen 🙂 I bet there will be even more amazing opportunities! And the online support groups too…maybe keep on your fridge the old you next to the new you for added encouragement! Cheers my friend! Sarah


  2. For whatever reason Lori, this made me teary for you. A new adventure, with lots of changes headed your way. We are here to surround you in every way/shape and form we can and help with the kiddos. I'm excited to have the help/encouragement of a friend to change MY ways of life. We can work at it together. SEEEEE you soon!!!


  3. As simple as that message is, "If you want it, you'll find a way" it does pack a powerful punch! It all seems overwhelming now and it may be when you get there still, but I know you will find a way to make it work for you because you WANT it. Want it, live it, love it, have it!


  4. OOOh!! I like that idea of keeping the before and after pics on the fridge!!! I'm totally gonna do that!!!! Thank you for your kind words! Part of why I write all these ramblings is to keep me accountable. Even if only 2 people read it, they are aware of my goals and it helps me stay on track. Thanks so much for reading!! 🙂


  5. Oh Randi!! You are such a soul sister friend to me!! I love you and can't wait to hang out and share all I've learned! And I know I have much to learn from you in the parenting department!!! Love you girl!!!


  6. It sure does. It seems simple, but it is so true. You have been an inspiration to me. I know its not easy, but if you can make it work with 4 kids and a deployment, surely I can do it with two. 🙂 Thanks so much Jayde!


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