Over the last year different friends have encouraged me through my weight loss/fitness journey, and a few even telling me that by witnessing my transition, they’ve in turn been inspired to get more fit.
While I wouldn’t call it a burden (seriously?! I’m the one that posts about it for everyone to read!) but I do feel like its a bit of an obligation or responsibility to continue to be inspiring, continue to achieve new goals, continue to set the bar to the next level.
Lately I have not been feeling very inspired. And anyone on a fitness journey has off days/bad days/days that they just aren’t feeling it. I am certainly no exception. With the responsibility and honor I feel in sharing my successes, I feel it only appropriate to also share when I’m struggling. I’m working out, but not at the level I was. I’m running and doing races here and there, but I want to do more. I’m struggling with food. I’m just not as motivated as I once was.
Part of it is due to the upcoming deployment, traveling and just trying to pack in as much time with Eric as we can. A friend pointed out that my “selective eater” hubby and son can make meal planning difficult. (So true!) Eric also enjoys eating out (and I do too, but it’s easier to point fingers!) I’m tired, I’m stressed, blah, blah, blah. I hate excuses. I have tons of them.
Ultimately it’s up to me. It’s always been up to me.
I choose to “nibble here and there” (HOOVER) off of the kids’ plate so as to “not waste food”.
I choose to have more than a small handful some dark chocolate almonds (half a bag).
I choose to eat the things I know I shouldn’t, that make me feel yucky and that do not fuel the workout level I want to achieve.
So before, a weight gain would have completely derailed me. I would have lost 10 lbs, be on the right track, and then slip a bit, and then fall completely off the wagon and say “screw it!”. Then gorge and gain it all back and then some. That’s the cycle of the past decade. That is what got me to over 200 lbs.
My mom asked me just today if it was hard when Eric eats crappy food in front of me. I stopped and realized that it used to not be. When we were in Hawaii and I was feeling so focused, the weight was coming off left and right – I wouldn’t have touched the junk food to save my life. But ever so slowly, it’s getting harder and harder to say “no thank you”. (And much easier to say, “Yes please. Whatever. I lost 50 lbs. One bite can’t hurt. Then it’s a plate later and I’m regretting it.)
So I popped on the scale this morning and I’m back up 8 lbs. No, 8 lbs may not be a big deal in the larger picture. I lost 50 and gained 8. But it’s a slippery slope. If I ignore this and don’t get back on track – that remaining 42 lbs will come back faster than I can blink. So I CHOOSE to stop this now.
It’s time to get back at it. Refocused and re-energized.
Now – Time to kick this funk to the curb!!