With deployment looming in the not-so-distant future, I was thinking yesterday about some of the things I actually look forward to during a deployment.
Things like mowing the lawn.
Yep. I actually LOVE mowing the lawn. There is something so gratifying about seeing those freshly made tracks on the grass, the smell of it mixed with gasoline (gross, I know – but I like it!) and doing something physical, getting a little sweaty and being outside! The other added bonus is that my kids see a strong mom that can handle so-called “man jobs”.
On the tail of the “man jobs”, I find self reliance extremely gratifying. I know that every time I look back at deployments, losing weight, running marathons or any difficult challenges – I am so proud of myself for sticking it out and getting through it.
Other Stuff To Do….
The kids will also learn that while we miss Daddy terribly while he is gone – we can talk about our feelings, cry, get mad – feel our feelings, whatever they may be. And while we are feeling those emotions, still have things to look forward to. Like preschool, play dates and potty training!! (Hannah, not Jake 😉 By the time he returns we will be a diaper-free household!! Hallelujah!!
We are also planting a garden so there will be all kinds of fun with harvesting come this fall! And we’ll (hopefully) get to carve a pumpkin that we grew for Halloween! So fun!
Being “queen of the castle”.
Of course we will be able to make any big decisions together via email or occasional phone calls, but for the “littles”- the daily little decisions, there is no one else I have to check in with. The kids and I can do our own thing when, and if, we want. Or not. 😉
Being over the “everyone’s-crabby-we-know-it’s-coming-pick-a-fight-phase”
Before our first deployment and newly married some 11 years ago, we attended a pre-deployment briefing led by a chaplain. He talked about the emotional stages of deployment, things to be aware of, things to say/not say, etc. One thing he discussed was this phase about 2-4 weeks before a deployment, most couples will start to emotionally separate, knowing that the deployment is imminent. We would pick fights over silly things, be extra sensitive, etc. I laughed. Surely I am (ahem) mature enough to not act like such a child (she says with her nose in the air).
I was so wrong. It happened and still happens. Every. Single. Deployment. Luckily, we can laugh about it, even as we are in the midst of it, knowing it’s just this yucky phase, and that it will pass. And both of us are looking forward to it being over!
Whew! It’s amazing how one less person makes WAY less laundry! Not that I mind doing laundry (I mean really…. throwing it into a machine is pretty hard, right?!) but it is significantly less clothing to fold and put away. And of course with two kiddos – I have enough already! HA!
I’ve often said this isn’t the life for everyone. I think it takes special commitment and dedication to making the best of a separation. (I have to laugh when I watch shows like The Biggest Loser and they get all freaked out from being away from their spouses for a few weeks!) There is truth to the statement that “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. Deployments aren’t easy. In fact, I’m finding that the longer we are married, the harder they become, for various reasons. I love my hubbs. And I love looking forward to homecoming!!!