Blegh. On More than One Level


There. I said it. I’m feeling a little blue as the reality of going it alone for 9 months sinks in. I know I’m not  ALONE alone. There are plenty of people to help out, offer support and are just there for me and the kids. But, it isn’t Eric. There isn’t a replacement for a member of our family.

I’m starting to do the thing I think we all do as military spouses – I count down.
“This is the last box of his Shredded Wheat I’ll buy before he leaves….”
“This is the last gallon of milk he will drink before he goes”
“One more race to run without the kids before deployment”
“We have 2 more date nights before I won’t have a date for 9 months” etc.

And then there are other things too, like – “Only 3 3-month deployments”
“Only 9 times of paying the rent until he gets back”
“Only 1 Christmas….”

And on it goes. I think, for me at least, numbers help me not to feel overwhelmed. Today was a long day in general, and it’s days like this when I think about 9 whole months of these kinds of long days –  that’s when this whole deal seems incredibly daunting.

We will get through it. We don’t have any other choice. I know we’ll be fine, but it sucks just the same.

In other news – I think I sprained my toe. Ridiculous, I know. I rammed my foot into the staircase bannister in the dark last night and this morning it was difficult to even walk on it! It’s a nice shade of light blue/purple and when I put on shoes this morning I saw stars.

Not good.

Especially when I have a half marathon to run one week from Saturday. Hmmmm. Perhaps I won’t be running….we will see how fast it heals. What really ticks me off is the fact that it’s the 4th toe – you know, the really useless one that doesn’t do much.

I hate it when I can’t run. It’s one thing to take a day off, but to NOT be able to just makes me want to run that much more! Grrr.

Ok, blegh-ness over.

Ready to feel like myself tomorrow!

Heal toe, heal!!


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