Life and Other Stuff

Ahhh, sports. Athletics hasn’t been a huge thing for us as a family. Our son dabbled in little league for a couple of years. He was more interested in picking dandelions in the outfield than watching for pop fly balls. (Later we learned that his right eye is blind and of course that impacts his depth perception.) Our daughter experimented with gymnastics, and now is very much into golf. My poor husband loves team sports and has officiated multiple for the entirety of our marriage. Watching Hoosiers, Remember the Titans and Tin Cup will find him slightly swelling with emotion. The town rallies around the team as they lead the way to the state championship, or an athlete regaining former glory…..sigh. More recently it’s been Ted Lasso for us as a family.

While I can appreciate a great sports film, I got into athletics a little later in life. I played 1 year of high school volleyball and enjoyed it for the most part, but only joined track because I had friends doing it and quit after 3 weeks when I heard the track coaches talking about how “it wasn’t a real workout unless someone pukes”. Not my jam. It wasn’t until my early 30s that I started to love movement and fitness. (I was dragged to a bootcamp workout group and, similar to my high school track experience, I went because I wanted to hang with friends.) Little did I know that that decision would lead to a series of things that changed my perspective on exercise.

After working in a gym with people impacted greatly by living sedentary lives, one thing I’ve worked hard to instill in our kids is the importance of taking care of our physical selves. Nutrition, sleep, movement and play are all integral parts of that physical education. Over the last year, our kids have expressed an increased interest in trying out for middle and high school sports, much to my husband’s delight. As we move into this phase of school sports, summer time fitness endeavors and even just family game night, there are some things I hope the kids learn, lessons planted now that will continue into adulthood.

Love Letter to my Kids: Sports Edition

I don’t care if you make the team or not. Seriously. I want you to try out. I want you to put yourself out there. Nervous? Worried that you won’t know what you’re doing or you’ll feel dumb? Cool. Do it anyway. That’s what bravery is – being afraid and doing it in spite of fear. Beyond sports, being comfortable in the uncomfortable is part of life. You’ll feel that when you start a new job, or when you meet new people. You’ve already experienced it many times being the new person at school as a military kid. Try things new things.

If you do make the team, be a reliable teammate. Show up on time. Work hard. Don’t complain. Encourage those around you. As you strive ahead, be sure to extend the hand behind you to help others. Team sports will prepare you to work with others – even others you may not like. You are not an island and no one does life and work alone. Being reliable teaches people that you can be depended upon.

And guess what? You’ll probably make mistakes. So what? We’ve all had to learn how to do things – no one on the planet comes to a sport already knowing how to do it. Get curious. Have a beginner mindset. Learn all you can. You have to learn the fundamentals and practice them. The advanced skills will come. You won’t do things perfectly, and perfect is an illusion anyway. Do YOUR best.

Be an active listener. Hear what your coaches and mentors are telling you. Coaches, umpires, referees – they do what they do because they love their sport and they love kids. They often take time out of their own life to spend with you. Honor that time by respectfully listening -and applying their advice. By listening, you learn.

Not everyday will be spectacular. Know that some workouts and practices aren’t going to be stellar. You’ll be sore, you’d rather sleep in, or whatever else you may have going on. Where the brain goes, the body will follow. If you’re disciplined and consistent, results will come. Motivation wanes. Consistency is a greater skill to develop.

Be a good sport. This probably goes without saying, but yeah, don’t be a poor sport. No flipping the monopoly board when you don’t get your way. Don’t yell at referees, threaten to slash their tires, or be ejected from the game in a heated moment*. Take a breath. Some times it’s your turn, sometimes it’s not. You win some, you lose some. Be as gracious at winning as you are in defeat. (*As a high school/college official, your Dad has stories. These things have happened. More than once.)

This really isn’t about sports. Finding movement, a game, any physical activity you enjoy is a tool for a healthy life. Finding some kind of movement that brings you joy is a gift. It lays the groundwork now, so that you will have longevity, mobility, and health into your adulthood. If you take care of your body, age can be just a number. Growing older is a privilege. Being agile, independent and strong as we age – that’s the real goal.