Fear

Over the past 6 months I have done things I never thought I would. Things I never thought I could. in addition to losing almost 45 pounds, 20+ inches, and seemingly shedding sizes weekly, I’ve gained an incredible amount of confidence. And it’s not just confidence in appearance, although there is that too.

It’s more about little stuff. Like when a friend visited this fall and we decided to go paddle boarding. I’d never done that before. Previously, that would be something I would have not done out of fear. Fear of failing, looking stupid, or not knowing what I am doing. That and fear of falling. Ha! Now it’s, “Great! Let’s go try that! Who cares what we look like?! If we fall in – no big deal. We get wet, we get back up on the board!”

Or little stuff like chatting up another mom at the playground. Before I would have waited until she said hello first. Not anymore. I’ll chat with her. No fear.

I like not being afraid.

And if I fall on my face? Yeah, well, it’s happened. And it will happen again.

I’ll just have to get up again.

And now as I look forward to my next event, I’m a little unsure of myself. I signed up for a biathlon. No, I signed up for TWO biathlons! One in January and one in February. They are both 5k races followed by a 1k swim.

Um, have I mentioned that I don’t even own a swim cap? Or a one piece competitive bathing suit yet? I think I may have goggles around here somewhere. And do they make swim caps large enough for my big hair?!!! Ha!

No fear.

Will I look like I don’t know what I’m doing? Yeah, probably. Am I going to have fun and learn to do something new? (And step out of my comfort zone yet again?)

You bet! And I can’t wait!