Land of Confusion

Today’s post is directing us to write about a time when we felt out of place.

Part of me feels out of place most of the time. And the times where I’ve been right where I’m supposed to be without a doubt are beyond words, yet not frequent.

The first time I changed my child’s diaper, I felt horribly clumsy and out of place. (They survived!)

The first time I went running, I knew it wasn’t “me” or my thing. (Ha! As I prepare to go out a run a “quick 6” this very morning!)

In high school, I was very out of place. (Who wasn’t, really?!)

Having a plan, knowing what I want to do “when I grow up” is security. When I question that – it feels VERY uncertain and confusing.

The first day at a new job, I’ve always felt nervous and out of place.

Isn’t that the human experience in a nutshell – that we are striving for comfort, belonging, and love in the midst of uncomfortable? Or at the very least, learning that uncomfortable and out of place are really an ebb and flow in varying degrees? It’s just realizing that any feeling we experience, uncomfortable or not, is not new. Our emotions, our needs are universal. If we’ve felt this way, chances are one of the other 7 billion people on the planet have felt the same. Any time I’ve felt out of place, it became a matter of keeping at it until it felt normal.

Perhaps it’s not so confusing after all.


What If

What if…

What if we stopped? Stopped all the busy. What if we put down the 7 things we’re trying to do simultaneously? What if we focused on just one thing?

Could we do it? We record television shows, while we are watching other shows, flipping channels because we get bored during commercials. We have the remote in one hand and a phone in the other. Too bad we don’t have another hand for the tablet.

“What’s for dinner? Hmmm, I dunno. Ooh! I know! I’ll check out Pinterest for some meal ideas! Yeah. *ping* Omigosh. I have to show you this video on Facebook! It’s hilarious! What? No, honey, not now – we are getting ready to eat. *ping*. Just a minute, baby. Mommy will be right there! I just have to send a quick text. The toilet’s overflowing again?! Ugh! Oh, that reminds me – we need more toilet paper. I’ll add that to the list. *dingdong* Can someone grab the door!? What was I doing again?”

Is it just me?

What if we put away our need to always be doing?

What if we put away our yardsticks of comparison? What if doing just one thing didn’t make us feel unproductive? What if we didn’t look over our fences and feel like failures because we aren’t going, doing, and being all the things we perceive them to be doing and being?

What if the person in front of us, the task in front of us, was the only thing that had our attention?

What if?

What if we looked at people when we spoke with them? What if we felt heard, validated, and not like we were competing for a moment of someone’s time? What if we could stop having a conversation with the top of their head, their eyes glued to a screen?

What if we heard, really heard, those around us? What if we validated them? What if we sincerely inquired about someone else instead of being lost and consumed in our own little mind chatter?

Could we be better spouses? Better parents? Better friends?

Could we finally realize that multitasking is really doing multiple things badly?

What if we suspended our “been there, done that” condescension, and were actually amazed by something? What if we were less guarded? More open to express joy, exhilaration, and excitement?

What if we practiced gratitude all year instead of just a few weeks in November?

What if?

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