I Just Don’t Know

I am simply at a loss.

They’ve apprehended a suspect in the town we were last stationed in. The suspect worked at the commissary where we shopped for groceries.

I wrote about another senseless shooting and felt the same numbness, but as others have written; this feels personal. This time it was my state. My hometown. The town where my parents currently live. In a mall that was built when I was in the 7th grade. The mall where our senior prom was held. A store that I’ve shopped in more times than I can count.

Sadly, I’ve watched the coverage online and read comments. The vile, racist, ugly and unfounded speculations abound.

As usual, we seem to be left with more questions than answers.

When the shooting in Columbine happened, I remember sitting transfixed in front of the television, mouth gaping at the scene unfolding. “How is this happening? And at a school?!”

And now?

The shooting incidences seem to happen regularly. And like every other time-we will hold our vigils. We will say our prayers and promise to hug our loved ones a little tighter. We will shake our collective heads and remark about the sad state of our society. We will mourn.

And do nothing.

Just like last time.

And the time before that.

And the other one before it.

I just don’t know how it’s ever going to change. What possesses a person to inflict such carnage? Has a moral sense of right and wrong been eroded? I really just don’t know.


2 thoughts on “I Just Don’t Know

  1. Nothing and nowhere is ever 100% safe. It’s sad and scary when things hit so close to where you live, when you know people that it affects. It’s like a veil of protection is lifted. I guess we all live a little delusionally because we don’t want to walk through life frightened and sad all the time. My mind cannot comprehend the level of violence. Big hugs to you, I get how you feel!


    1. You are right – there is no “safe place”. As I was talking with my husband we both wondered if our parents had these same kinds of worries. There has always been this level of violence, granted not always here at home – but the connectivity of the current world brings it all home via the 24 hour news cycle. Rising tide of violence, or just media inundation? Or both.


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