Lately I’ve been realizing there are discrepancies in the things I am telling my son.
Most recently, I told my son that he needs to come to me if he needs help setting a dispute with his sister or with a playmate. So the minute he did, what was my reply?
“Don’t be a tattle-tale.”
Rock > My Son < Hard place
ARGH! (Insert palm hitting my head here.)
Poor kid! Here are some of the other oxymorons of parenting I’ve run into lately:
*With my potty training daughter, I tell her to go pee in the potty. Then, today, we have a bit of a drive so I put a pull up on her because she tends to fall asleep in the car. Diapers or underwear? The kid is probably so confused, it’s no wonder she doesn’t know where the heck to go!
*We tell our kids to clean their rooms, then go do it for them because they “didn’t do it right”. They can’t learn and take ownership of a job well done if we do everything for them. Sometimes its just a matter of different, not right or wrong. Redoing their “job” sends the message that they did it wrong.
*We tell our kids we love them more than anything and they are our top priority, but then get busy and our actions don’t reflect our beliefs. (Pretty much being human!) How many times do I tell them, “Just a minute, baby. Mommy just needs to finish this __________”. And then how often does that minute turn into 5 or 10 minutes?
*We say things like, “Who can buckle our seats the fastest?!” in the attempt to hurry up the process of getting in the car. Then when they compete in all manner of things, we tell them that “It doesn’t matter, life isn’t a competition.”
Oy, the mixed messages! Absolutely no guilt intended here, just my observations in my own parenting journey as of late.
This parenting gig is not for the weak.
I take comfort in the fact that I do consider my parenting tactics, analyze and then try again each day. I know there is no perfect parent. Motherhood is a a privilege and not one to be taken lightly. All I can do is be the best mom to my kids that I can.
Even if it involves a “D’OH!” every once in a while!