Mushy Banana Day

Let me start by saying that yes, I do know that there are REAL people going through REAL problems out there (as opposed to my 1st world mommy problems).  But really – what else is a blog if not an overly self-aware commentary of daily drivel?
So the day started like most – Jake asking where daddy was. (He had already left for work.) I was still in my dream state and I told him he was right there. Then I woke up and realized that he in fact had already left and it was time to get up and get moving.
So after much procrastinating and looking out the window and the incessant grey rain….
No, it’s not actually raining in this particular pic – but it was off and on…. (foreshadowing alert!)

I decide I better get motivated and hit the gym. The kids were excited to go to Kids’ Club (the gym’s daycare) so off we went.

But it never just happens like that. Here’s how it really works:
Hannah is naked. She is always naked. I cannot get that girl to wear clothes to save my life. So after wrestling, cajoling, begging, nagging, brushing her teeth 37 times – we finally get her dressed. And yes, I do mean we because it takes the three of us to get one of us dressed. Meanwhile, Jacob who is finally at the tail end of potty training says he now has to pee (even though I asked him at least twice if he had to go before I started the Hannah Dressing Project). And at the mere mention of the word “pee”, Hannah has now stripped back down to her birthday suit lest she miss out on any of the potty fun. Oy.
Once everyone has peed (and yes, by this time even I have to go again!) AND dressed and chosen which coat/sweatshirt/with-or-without-a-hood they would like to wear, we emerge to the garage. This is where the fun REALLY starts.  Jacob was given a “monster truck” as his cousins have out grown it:
Hannah models the new quad!
He loves this thing! (As does Hannah) And it’s great, but anytime we go to the garage he just “needs to ride for a bit before we go”. Alright. Ride away. Because it takes about 10 minutes to get Hannah into her seat and buckled in. Oh, have I mentioned that Hannah is in the “I do it myself phase’? Yep. EVERYTHING is “do it myself”. Love that she’s so independent and learning so quickly – but man is it hard sometimes when you just need to get somewhere. (Or you are having one of THOSE days and just don’t have patience!)
And not only is she a do-it-herselfer, she likes to tease me and act like she’s going to do it (like the seat buckle) but then fool me at the last minute and climb over the seat to position herself just out of  reach and giggle. (She MUST get this from Eric!)
So after I’ve had my pre-workout workout and got a good sweat going, both kids are buckled in and down the road we go. I drop them off, they play, I work out.
I come back to pick them up and Jake is having a rough time (although he did good going potty) and his pants are now on inside out.
We had been discussing going to a little pond close to our house to feed the ducks, but it was raining at this point – both kids needed food ASAP as the complete meltdown was about to ensue for both of them. And if I didn’t change and get something to eat I was going to eat one of them! Oh, but we need milk and apples, and and and ….ugh. The grocery store. We had to go.
It was the usual kids-turn-into-octopi-as-we-walk-thru-the-door time and I was able to mostly get through what we needed unscathed.
Until we hit the checkout line. Hannah can Houdini her way out of any seatbelt, so while simultaneously keeping her from plunging to the floor on her head and keeping Jake out of the candy and focused on his job (putting the items on the belt to pay) he tells me as we load the last item that he has to pee.
Good boy Jacob. I keep telling you to tell mommy when you have to go.
Timing is everything. Luckily I have spare clothes so I asked him if he could hold it for just a minute and then we we would go straight to the potty. He says yes. I pay, we scoot to the restrooms and of course, not wanting to miss out – Hannah decided she needs to “pee more too”.  So another hour goes by in the bathroom, getting the two of them undressed, peeing, redressed and then hands washed all while hoping no one makes off with my paid for groceries sitting just outside the door. Oh, and did I mention the cashier? She was all kinds of crabby and apparently not having the best day either. She told me in a rather snarky way that I should really keep my kids from standing in the cart so they don’t fall.
Really?! Thanks so much for telling me that. UGH. (You can read all about how much I hate the grocery store here.)
We make our way home (by way of another game of “catch me if you can” with Hannah), grab some lunch and they of course both fall asleep. So much for the duck pond.
Yes, she is dressed in this picture – but notice it’s in her zipped up pjs – the only thing she can’t get out of!
So I get a bit of a break (they are never long enough!) I once again agree to go to the duck pond to check out and feed the ducks. We get em all loaded again – and off we go. It’s grey and cloudy (what’s new!?) but as soon as I park the car – no lie – a dark cloud busts open and rain pours down.
I can’t make this stuff up.
So we throw bread to ducks (who I’m sure thought we were insane!) in a torrential downpour while I attempt to keep Hannah OUT of the pond as she is still confused by the bodies of water here and why we cannot swim in them whenever we want to.
Good times. Back home we go and as I’m cleaning out the car (Hannah takes off any shoes and socks the minute I put the car in drive, so there are a few pairs in there) I reach over the car seats to scoop up whatever toys may be laying there and stick my hand in a half eaten trying to rot banana. Awesome. I looked at this sad brown mushed up piece of fruit in my hand and thought – that’s exactly how I feel today. I’m a mushy banana.
I made dinner. I did dishes. I typed this. I’m exhausted.
But the house is quiet and tomorrow is a new day! Please God – I will never pray for patience again!
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4 thoughts on “Mushy Banana Day

  1. I'm on the floor lmao. Here I sit in Starbucks tears rolling down my face trying to suppress laughter – can't. I always say you should be a writer – I take it all back – YOU ARE A WRITER!!!!!!!!!! Your daily routines would make a great read!

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