While I know I’m just in the beginning phases of what are sure to be hundreds of embarrassing moments with the kids, today was one for the books! Not just one cheek-blushing/ground-swallowing/want-to-die-now moment, but two.
Like most parents of preschoolers in the throes of potty training, much of the talk around our house currently revolves around bodily functions. Gas, poop, pee, burps, you name it – we’re in to it! When I was a kid my mom said I would outgrow my convulsive fits of laughter whenever someone passed gas or burped. Sadly, I am still stuck at a junior-high-boy-level of humor when it comes to this subject. It’s just funny.
Today we had our maintenance person out to fix a leaky outdoor faucet and a broken sprinkler head. While in the back yard, Hannah channeled her inner dog and pooped in the back yard. Not once. Not twice. But three times. WHILE THE GUY WAS BACK THERE! I wanted to die. Cleaning poop while trying to carry on a conversation with someone about gaskets and leaky faucets all while not trying to die of laughter was probably one of the hardest things I’ve done this week.
When that was all cleaned up and the guy had made is escape from poop-central, we headed to the store. While there, we ran into one of the other wives from Eric’s squadron. While I know this person, it’s not like I would strike up a conversation about bodily functions with her. Leave it to Jacob to strike up just that topic.
Screaming at the loudest possible volume, “MOM! I TOOTED! AND IT STINKS! AND I CAN SMELL IT!”
I know this is just one of many embarrassing moments where I want to die, it really does make me laugh. After she made her escape from the toot conversation, I quietly attempted to explain to Jacob that even though body noises are beyond hilarious, it’s really not polite to talk about it in public.
As we rounded a corner, an older couple was walking by us in the opposite direction. To say that body noises emanated from one or both of these individuals would be an understatement. It was loud. I took one look at the kids as they were both looking at me, and I swiftly ushered them out of earshot as we all broke out in laughter.
Apparently this was the day for bodily function funnies!