Finding friends when you are 5 is relatively easy, requiring minimal social skills.
“Hey! Wanna play!?”
“Okay!”
And off you go skip-idee-doo-dah with your new bestie!
Not so much when you are 35. At 35, you find friends in other ways, through work, church, your spouse’s friends’ wives, etc. and through these avenues it affords a bit of a preview of what they might be like. For example you are going to know who the crazies are if you work with them. Or your spouse will steer you clear of crazies at those mandatory work functions.
Hopefully.
For those of us who became SAHMs or WAHMs (stay at home/work at home moms), finding friends can be much like dating. Do they have common interests? Add in the kids and that’s another level altogether! Are their parenting styles similar to yours? That can be a deal breaker! I have often found myself thinking any and all of the following:
“Uh-oh, we just met today at the playground. Is she going to think I’m a stalker for asking for her phone number so soon???”
“Um. We just met. I’m not sure I’m ready for exchanging numbers…”
“I really like her. I wonder if she thinks I’m a crazy…”
“I like her, but not so crazy about her kids….”
“She seems great. But I think my kids are driving her bonkers!”
“I don’t have time for this – who needs another friend!”
“Where is this going?”
“Run. Run away now. Definitely nuts.”
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| This was the nuttiest picture I could find on the net…. |
And on it goes…. I have to say I have been pretty fortunate to meet some great “dates” that turned into fantastic friendships. And I also think it’s important to have many friends – because one person can’t be another’s everything. We learn and grow from all the people in our lives.
With that said, I have to say I’m “dating” and having fun meeting a few new mom friends. And they aren’t crazy. Or nuts.
(At least not any more than I am!)
Any horror stories or tips on meeting new friends as an adult?
Life and Other Stuff 
Hey Lori, loving your blog. I saw it on dumbell fitness site today and thought I would stalk you!!! We r here in PNW and came from Hawaii, so…well, you know how it goes. I am always stalking other moms, especially ones who like to do stuff. 😉 so if you find a hole in your dating schedule sometime, let me know and I can totally be that crazy chick you talk about to all your other friends. 😉
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Haha!!! I love it!!!! Pretty crazy with the holidays – but I would LOVE to get together with you sometime after!!!!!
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Where are you stationed?
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How do I do a ‘like’ on here? I do! I like the way you write. 🙂
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As of right now, the best way to “like” a post is to share it! (I will be adding a “like” button shortly!) Thank you!
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Great post.
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Thank you! 🙂
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Ah! Mom friends. I have not mastered the art of making mom friends. And it’s definitely an art… I have thought many of the same things as you list during the process. This made me smile – so thanks!
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It’s an art – and definitely not an easy one! For me it’s been practice and a lot of patience and really being okay if compatibility isn’t there.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
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I’d agree with much of that. I’ve definitely made mom acquaintances – I just haven’t really turned any of those into what I’d call long term friendships.
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There’s a time investment aspect to consider, too. Sometimes it’s just hard to put in the time when we are so busy with our own lives and families and childrearing. It can be easier to keep things at a surface level.
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